Used && Abused

Chapter 18

Breanna's POV

I was upset and embarassed. THERAPY?? And tell me I needed to go in front of the Nape's. It was all too much. I went where I always went when I got upset. Or when things just became so hard and too much too handle.

I pulled up to my fathers grave balling crying. I kneeled down on the grass and just cried for like 10 minutes. Then I was sobbing, then I was balling when I finally decided to speak.

Me: Daddy? I've been a good girl like you asked me too. I've been helping my mom, getting good grades, respecting myself, and other people. Daddy? I'm sorry for not being stronger and letting this happen to us. I'm sorry for letting that man touch me. I just feel like its my fault sometimes. I don't know why I fell this way when I understand it wasn't my fault.

I began thinking. How is it my fault. Then I think trust. I trusted him to be a "father". Then I began thinking some more and my heart broke down and I just began screaming.

Me: WHY DID YOU LEAVE US HERE TO DEAL WITH THIS CRUEL AND MEAN WORLD. IM NOT LOVED HERE WITHOUT YOU. *calms down* I sorry for being so rude towards my mom. I just don't know what to do. I'm hurting and I know why. They think I need to go to therapy. Why should I go when I already know and understand what has happened to me. I'm fine now. I think. And then Tyreik. I'm so sorry for the way I treated him. He didn't deserve it and I know it. I'm just so scared to tell him how I feel sometimes. But I really don't know why. He's always been here for me and he's always listening. He comforts me. Yet, I'm still so scared to talk. I will apologize for not listening to him. But I won't apologize for having my suspicions. Daddy... I love him and I know he loves me too.

??: You're right. I do love you.

I turn around and see Tyreik standing right behind me. I run into his arms and just hug him.

Me: I have so much to tell you. Tyreik, I'm so so--

Tyreik: Breanna, its okay. I heard everything. You can stop crying now.

I step back and wipe my eyes then put myself back into his chest.

Me: I love you.

Tyreik: I know you do.

I step back expecting an " I love you too". I smile at him and he smiles back.

Tyreik: I love you too.

Me: Yes. Can we go to my house ?

Tyreik: Yeaaa... We can. I'll drive you in your car. I'll come and get mine later.

We get in my car and the drive to my house is silent. I sit and he holds one of my hands as he drive. When we pull up to my house I take out my keys, unlock the door, and is greeted heartily by Cookie. I pick her up and ruffle her fur. Tyreik steps aside and stares at me. I already know what he wants to know.

Me: I got her the same day I got me car and her name is Cookie.

He follows me upstairs to my room and I slip off my shoes and hop into my bed and Tyreik do the same. He slips his arms around me and I just look into his eyes. Then he kisses me long and hard.

Me: You've missed me ??

Tyreik: So bad.

He give me a kiss on my fore head and I began dozing off. I guess he fell asleep too... But I'll never know. Then I began to dream.

::Dream::

"Please! STOP! It hurts!", the real me screams.

The "ghost" me is watching from across the room . I'm crying, screaming for him to get up off of her.

Ghost me wipes her face clear of tears and yell, "Get up off of her. What did she do to you?".

Ghost me runs up. I'm thrown back by an invisible sheet of glass. Im feeling around the room looking for an opening to get to the real me. But me hands just continually slides over glass that I can't see. I began banging on the glass and the real me looks at ghost me and mouth the words, " Help Me. It Hurts".

She sees me. But he don't. Tyler continues to penetrate the real me. I run back to the wall and pick up the chair. I haul it at the glass. I does nothing but make a distant clanking sound.

The real me then screams out for me. I run up the the glass and began kicking and punching it. It does nothing. I stop. I look at real me and she looks to be sleeping. Her eyes are heavy looking and red. Tyler continues to rape the real me in all different positions.

He finally gets up off of her. And just as he's leaving she opens her eyes. And just as she opens her eyes I see a red button on the wall in arms reach. I reach over and push the button and the real me gets up and limps over to me. Right through the invisible glass. I stand up and just hug her. I let her cry.

Tyler turns around and see her hugging air.

Tyler: Damn. I fucked you up bad. You hugging air and shit. Nahh... Yo mama can't see you like this.

He pulls out his gun and fires at the real me. I want her in horror as she take her last breath then twitch one last time.

Me: Noooooo!!!!!!

Then I'm awake.

::€ŇÐ ÖF  ĎŘËÅM::

I wake up and Tyreik is screaming my name.

Tyreik: Bre! Breanna! What is it?!

Me: I happened again... He did it again... I seen him do it and I couldn't help her **Sobbing** I couldn't help her until he was done... Then he killed her... He did... I tried. I really did. No matter what I did it didn't work.

At first he looked confused, then understanding. Then he pulls me into a hug and let me cry.

Tyreik: Outside looking in again ?

Me: Yeah

He just holds me. I know I'm exhausted because I'm fighting to stay awake. I'm just afraid of the dream.

Tyreik: Bre. Its okay. He's gone. You can go to sleep now.

Me: I can't. He'll be back.

Tyreik: You know how that say anything you think of in a dream will come true in the dream ?

Me: Yes. I do.

Tyreik: Then dream me up and I'll protect you. Okay ?

Me: Okay

Then I'm sleep.