Vicious Submissive (BoyxBoy)

Breakdown: Cyrus POV

***WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of rape, torture, and self-harm. Read at your own discretion.***

I woke up in a cold sweat wrapped in Leo's arms and scent. Unfortunately, neither calmed my buzzing mind. I was drowning in memories and flashbacks as tears streamed down my face. I eased out of Leo's hold and got up, barely holding back a sob as another wave of memories drowned my mind. My arms wrapped tightly around my body, I silently shuffled into the bathroom. I couldn't be any more of a burden to Leo than I had been the last few days. As the door closed behind me, I locked it and slid down the wall, letting my tears fall freely while my hand kept my sobs from bouncing off the bathroom walls.

Memory after memory assaulted my brain. I felt like I was drowning. Drowning in unwanted touch and violent assaults. Choking on hate-filled glares and spiteful words. I can't take this. I pulled at my hair, trying, and failing, to push the images away to the back of my mind. Instead, they became more intense. More clear. I tore off my shirt as I tried to rip imaginary hands from my skin. My, now fully extended, claws carelessly tore into my skin, bringing to mind the only thing I knew would stop the onslaught. I dug into my right arm with my clawed left hand. I left dozens upon dozens of open horizontal cuts across my skin, the blood on my arm falling to my thigh as I continued to drag my claws against the scarred and healing skin. There was a knock on the door, but I didn't stop. I kept going as my mate's voice slipped past the wooden barrier,

"Baby? Open the door. Please...I smell blood, love. Open the door...Cy? Don't shut me out...please...open the door..."

As he pleaded, I lost interest in the action of wounding myself. Lost interest in focusing on the pain and healing scars. I stood, on autopilot, and unlocked the door, tears starting to once again fall from my face. My eyes rested on the worried face of the person I'd been both clinging to and pushing away. He took in my face, my bloodied arm and hand, and looked at me with nothing but care in his eyes. Not pity or disgust or anger. Just care and love. All of which directed at me. I collapsed into his chest, clinging to his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around me and picked me up, carrying me to the edge of the bed where he sat down and held me close. Leo pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead,

"It's okay, love...I've got you now and I will never let go...I've got you, Cyrus."

Those words shattered every wall I'd ever built to try and forcibly keep myself together. They broke the dam. And I cried. Not from frustration or disgust or guilt or physical pain. I cried for the family I never got to mourn, the innocence I'd lost, the lives I took, and the life I'd never had the choice to lead. I let out years of pain, years of sorrow, all of which I kept to myself because there had never been room for them while focusing on my survival.

Now, in the arms of a person who, I was realizing, loved me unconditionally, I had the freedom to do so. And I let it all out as I sobbed loudly, clutching his muscular frame like the lifeline it was as he held me, rubbing my back and whispering comforts. I don't know how long I cried, but once I'd finished, it felt like a fair amount of the weight on my shoulders had lifted. I felt slightly more..free. We sat together in silence, listening to the sound of each other's breaths. Once I was sure my voice wouldn't falter, I broke the silence,

"I'm sorry that I haven't been leaning on you like I should. It's hard...to rely on someone when I'm used to relying on myself only."

"I know. That's why I didn't push it. I wanted you to be as comfortable as possible."

"You deserve to know."

I felt him start to speak again, but I touched his chest, causing him to stop. I took deep breaths as I came to a solid decision. I couldn't let his comforting words give me a reason to stop what I was about to do. I looked up at the two silver orbs watching me carefully,