Mending Hearts

ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝟜

𝕆𝕙 𝔻𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕠𝕪

⚠️TW⚠️ The following chapter contains subjects of mental abuse, and physical abuse in a toxic relationship. If you are going through anything like this please speak up, nobody deserves this treatment, ily my darlins♡ with that warning in mind, enjoy :)

Darkness. Like a void with no end. That's how it starts, how it always starts. The words start bouncing off the walls, each one louder than the last, they're all what he said, it's his voice I can hear. I know it's another nightmare, but I cant stop it and theres no way out. The words are so loud I cover my ears, but it seemingly does nothing to aid me.

Every word hurts more than the last. The never ending cycle of how how fat I am, or ugly, or boring, or unwanted, or unlovable, or weak, or pathetic I am. It hits me over and over and over again. Each time digging into me like thorns of a bush.

The pain brings me to tears and I find myself in a ball screaming for it to stop, for him to stop. Yet he keeps sneering in my ear, then suddenly giving me a sharp blow to my left cheek that makes my head snap to the right. I cant see him clearly through my tears but I can make out his arm rearing back for another blow, it lands on the same spot causing more pain to course through me. He grabs my wrists and pins them down next to my head, his hands feel smaller than usual, something's wrong. I thrash as hard as I can, begging him to stop, apologising for whatever I did to upset him this time.

"Hey it's okay, stop. You're okay, just wake up for me, wake up Ellie"

I try to look at him but my tears still block my vision. The yelling stops and I don't feel his presence anymore, but I can see his silhouette still holding me down.

"Ellie, wake up sweetie. Come on just wake up, its only a dream you can wake up" I hear the voice again, its familiar and soothing, making me relax slightly. That's when one hand comes loose and rears back for a third blow.

I jolt up with a yell. I'm shaking and tears coat my cheeks, but I'm in my room, the blanket tossed away and a very concerned Nat looking at me like I'm a puppy with a broken leg. Its then that I realise I must've been crying and yelling in my sleep again.

I try to find my voice as I curl up in a ball and lean against the headboard. "S-sorry" I clear my throat "I didnt mean to wake you". My voice is shaky and hoarse, probably from the screaming, so I dont bother trying to talk. Like you would anyway, like you ever have huh?

She gives me a small smile, but I hate it. It's one filled with pity and sorrow for me, and the last thing I want from someone I love so dearly is that smile. "You didnt, Bucky walked past your room and heard you so he came and got me cus I was in the kitchen"

That sentence made my eyes turn into the size of jupiter and probably look like mars from the crying causing them to be bloodshot. I looked towards the doorway and there he stood. A concerned looking statue that Michelangelo wish he had the talent to carve. I cant bear to say anything to him, I doubt my voice would allow me to if I wanted anyway.

He looks uncomfortable, like he wants to leave and not see me again... ouch. It shouldn't hurt, not when it's happened so many times, but it does. I dont know why but it's like a safety pin stabbing at my heart. "I heard the screaming, I didnt want to barge in though... I just thought it would be better if it wasnt me coming in" he clears his throat, not daring to take a step past the door frame.

I look at my hands, fiddling with the ring that never comes off my thumb. "Oh... um sorry" I sniffle and glance up at him "and thanks, f-for helping" I cant look him in the eye, I don't dare to. Why do you care so much? Maybe he'll leave you alone now, at least that guarantees he wont be like him. I scold my own thoughts. I need to stop thinking about it so much, clearly it's only making the nightmares worse.

"What's going on little red? You havent been that bad for weeks now, why didnt you get yourself out of it like normal?" Nat tries to question, using her extra gentle voice that makes me miss the hint of sarcasm or amusement behind her usual one. "I told you to talk to me sestra"

I sigh, knowing that she thinks theres an explanation when I have no idea myself. What did trigger the bad one again? "I don't know Nat, I just couldn't get out of it. Maybe it's the heat or something"

"Oh dorogoy, I'm sorry. Come on, it's almost 7 anyway let's just get some breakfast and chill for an hour?" She smiles and stands up from my bed, heading to the door.

I give a small smile and wipe my cheeks of the semi-dried tears. When I stand up I notice how shaky my legs are, and take slow steps to follow after her. Sadly, the ex-widow has much longer legs than me and practically power walks everywhere as if her life depends on it. I already hear my playlist starting from the kitchen nice and loud, and thank whatever god or goddess gave me Nat as a big sister.

A voice made me stop and look back to the doorway, "um, I dont know what happened to you but I hope you're okay. If it's any help I know it's not fun to get nightmares like that. If you need anything I'm next door, um yanno, if you want" and its then that I finally look into the ocean eyes I've already grown to like. He nods his head a the corner of his mouth flickers up for a moment, trying to show some form of comfort.

I nod my head back, trying to will a smile on my face to show my appreciation for his kind offer. It barely shows, but something flashes in his eyes that makes me think he saw it. I hope he saw it.

Tranalations:
-Sestra = sister
-Dorogoy = darling
Sorry if they're inaccurate, I used google translate

So after 24 hours I've got 51 reads I'm so happy with that thank you for all the support :)
Hope you enjoyed this, tried to give you an insight into the MCs past a lil, lmk what you think :)