Mending Hearts

ℂℍ𝔸ℙ𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝟡

ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕤

I woke up in my bed, not knowing how I got here. Bucky must've carried me here, clearly having enough of me sleeping on him and took me to my bed so he can have some space. My clock told me it was just after midnight. Great, we're back to waking up in the night. Fun.

A faint yelling made me sit bolt upright. It sounded painful, like tortured screams. The majority of the team is on a mission, leaving only me, Bruce and Bucky in the compound.

Theres another scream, one that chills me to the bone. I throw the blankets off me and grab the nearest object to defend myself with, a small geometric polar bear that's relatively heavy. If you hit the wrong person you're screwed so dont miss. The scream is louder, somehow more painful. But that's not the worst part. It's where it's coming from that is. Bucky's room.

For some reason, I dont think twice about my actions and run to my door, nearly ripping it off its hinges, and practically smack into his door before I can get it open. "F.r.i.d.a.y, open this door now!" I call out to the a.i, praying it will open faster.

The second I hear the lock click I ram it open and run into the room. I find Bucky in bed, a layer of sweat covering him and his limbs thrashing about. Hes having a nightmare? I throw my 'weapon' onto the small sofa and dash to his side.

I try to think of how Nat or Wanda has helped me when I've had a bad nightmare. Before I can fully process how to help him he screams again, but this time a name is mixed in with it. Not just any name, my name. I dont focus on that right now, it doesnt matter. I need to get him to wake up.

I climb onto the bed, and hold down one of his arms with my knee. I then hold his cheeks with my hands and rub my thumbs to try and soothe him. He screams my name again, sounding even more pained. Am I the one hurting him? Why would he think that?

"Hey Bucky? Hey, you're okay. I'm right here, I just need you to wake up for me okay? You're safe I promise, just wake up." I call out to him, hoping hed wake easily. Of course he doesnt, nobody does. I dont.

He keeps thrashing his legs and other arm, sometimes nearly colliding the metal with my skull, slightly scaring me. Again, a scream resonates in his room, but he sounds less pained than before, so I try calling for him again.

"Please Bucky, just wake up for me. You're okay, you're safe. It's just a dream, I promise everything's fine." His legs stop kicking, but his arms carry on fighting. "Buck, come on. Youre okay, it's not real, all you have to do is wake up for me."

He whimpers, a small "Ellie" leaving his lips. My heart hurts at the sound, hes terrified. Yeah, of you dumbass.

I shake my head, ignoring the voice and focus on helping him. "Bucky, everything is fine, you're just having a nightmare. You're okay I promise you, you're okay. Just wake up for me. Come back to me okay?"

This time his eyes shoot open and dart around the room in fear. When they make contact with mine, something in them softens - like he was worried about me. I give him a small smile and get off his arm. He continues looking at me for a few seconds, then does something I would never expect from anyone other than Wanda. He wrapped both hands around my waist, tugging me into him until my head rested on his shoulder, and nuzzled his head into my neck. What in fucks name? Since when did we allow anyone to do THIS?!

Before I could say anything or move, I felt the tears hit my neck and heard a small sniffle. He was crying. And the shards of my heart shattered for him. He was shaking violently, and holding me as close as possible to him; like he was protecting me. In an attempt to help him I raised my arms, one going around the back of his neck loosely and the other moving so my hand could gently run through his tangled hair. I gave his scalp a gentle massage, but never said a word until I felt he'd calmed down.

After about 10 minutes hed stopped crying and was only slightly trembling. His shoulders were still quite tense and the grip he had on me hadn't let up at all, but I didn't mind that for some reason. I decided to speak first, "hey Buck, you're okay, it was only a nightmare". I didnt want to question him, I know having questions thrown at you in that state isn't good for you.

He cleared his throat gently, but kept his face in my neck as if my scent was soothing to him. "I-I'm sorry... for waking you". The first words to leave his mouth were an apology to me? What?

"No, it's fine really. I came in to help you, not for you to apologise to me." I rubbed my thumb on his back in circles, hoping to continue soothing him. "Would you like to talk about it? It might help, but you dont have to if you dont want". I felt him gently nod into my neck.

In Bucky's time here I'd managed to get the Dads to tell me a little about him. I know he was captured by hydra after he fell from the train and was brainwashed until Steve got him out of it, but they always kept things vague.

"It was like a normal one. I was in the chair. They were wiping me, torturing me. But then they brought-" his breath hitched. I masaged his scalp and he took a few deep breaths. "They brought you in. You were in a chair like mine, a wiping one. They were hurting y-you. They wouldn't s-stop" he squeezed me closer and mumbled almost silently  "I'm so sorry... I couldnt help you Doll".

He was in so much pain over a nightmare, but because I was the one getting hurt. I felt terrible for him, I felt helpless. I shouldn't be thinking about it right now, but I couldnt help but noticed the nickname he's given me lately. Doll. If anyone had called me this before, I'd go full chihuahua mode and bite their ankles off, but for some reason I liked the special nickname from him. I push those thoughts to the back of my head, it's not the time for that.

"I'm okay Buck, I'm right here. It was just a nightmare, dont worry about me. You've got me". I'm not sure why that last part left my lips, but it did. And I meant it. Okay clearly you've got amnesia or something, you're mad woman! Get some help!

He nodded into my neck again, giving me a small squeeze. This time, I hugged back and nuzzled my face into his neck. I felt a wave of comfort and... safety? ....what the fuck? Okay as amazing as this is, what?

I was confused by that feeling of comfort, it was powerful. Something I havent felt since I was a kid, or since the last time I saw my mom. I force myself not to think about her, not needing to cry right now.

We didn't stop hugging eachother, both of us clearly overdue for physical affection after denying ourselves of it for god knows how long. I lost track of time, it could've been seconds later, it could've been hours later but at some point Bucky asked "can you stay here? Please?"

I smiled into his neck, the idea thrilling the small piece of my heart that isn't dead. "Okay"

My response was quiet, but he heard me. He let me go and lay down, pulling the blankets back over his form. He then raised one side and I climbed in next to him. Bucky pulled me closer to him, until my head was resting on his chest and I could hear his heartbeat. I let out a content sigh and rested my right arm over his torso. His flesh arm came to rest over my shoulders and hold me close, the other on his stomach next to my elbow.

He rested his chin on top of my head and breathed out gently, as if he was finally calm. "Goodnight El".

I rested my leg over his and snuggled closer, for some reason feeling completely comfortable with him. "Goodnight Buck, sweet dreams". And with that, we both fell into a peaceful sleep, acting as if it wasnt the other bringing us comfort and allowing the calm state of mind.

Hello my darlings! I'm back with a new chapter :) I hope you like this, sorry for the longer wait, I've been really busy lately and the day I planned to write had crazy writers block. Anyway, enjoy and have a lovely day/night my loves <3