Broken hearts

Chapter 9

-Jude-

Tic...Tac...Tic...Tac...

The math teacher kept talking and talking and lunch time seemed so far away, even that, it was good to think about something else, it turns out that when you're alone with your own thoughts you start thinking about every aspect, good or wrong, of your life.

Finally the bell rang and I looked for Riley through the hallways; I haven't talked to her since the fight, we were supposed to be together at the party and I escaped with 'you know who'. I saw her with Lila and Mia so I decided to get closer and talk to Riley.

"Hi Riley, hi girls"; Mia and Lila waved her hands at me and Riley gave me a concerned look.

"Hey, are you ok? You left me really worried at the party"; Mia and Lila decided to keep walking to the cafeteria on their own and left us alone.

"Yeah it was intense, sorry for leaving you"

"It's ok, I saw you leaving with Noah and I new you were in good hands"; wtf...?

"How do you know Noah?", I asked a bit confused.

"He's your sister's boyfriend, isn't he?"; yeah, he's my sister's boyfriend.

"Yes. We should go to the cafeteria now"

We walked through the hallway and got to the cafeteria with other students who wanted to enjoy their lunch time too, we saw the gang sat at our table and joined them with our own lunches, I saw Sebastian at the table but we didn't say anything, we kind of agreed on leaving everything in the past and be cordial to each other. 

We talked as always, well, they talked; I was lost, it was becoming annoying, why the hell was I like this?

I ate my sandwich trying to focus on the conversation the others were having until I saw him, that fucking idiot walking through the cafeteria, cute as always, walking calmly like his life was still perfect. I wasn't mad, not at all...

"Are you ok Jude?"; Riley noticed my silence and tried to get some information about my humor today.

"Yes, just a little bit distracted"; I tried to answer with a smile but I think I did an awful effort.

"Maybe you should talk about it"

"What?"; I rose an eyebrow looking at her confused.

"It's getting you distracted because it's stuck in your head, if you let it out maybe you'll feel better"

"It makes sense"; maybe I do needed to talk about it... Who am I kidding?! I can't talk about it, what am I supposed to say, how would anyone react to what I did, what I did was wrong in every kind of way. Although it was difficult for me to forget what happened, I know it's for the best to just don't give a shit about it and continue with my life, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about it, and it's not just about the kiss, it's about everything, about the last month.

"Jude, you know you can tell me everything"; Riley insisted. Maybe, but not this...

"It's just about my parents, since I came back from Paris we can't stop fighting about silly things and I'm starting to hate the routine"

"Oh, well, maybe you should talk to them about it, tell them how you feel and show maturity about it"; of course, why didn't I try to talk to my parents before...'sarcastic tone'

"You're right, I'll talk to them. Thanks"

"Any time"; Lila started talking to Riley and she focused on her, so I continued in silence, trying not to focus on my annoying thoughts.