Broken hearts

Preface

It was Friday and I still haven't talked to Anni or Jude, she's been avoiding me and it didn't feel right to talk to Jude before Anni; these were the longest days of my life and the darkest too, my dad helped with my anxiety but it was hard for me to stop thinking about the the pain that I caused.

Today I decided it was time to end this, I wanted to take this off my chest and finally fix it. The last period finished, and I exited the classroom hoping to see Anni; I walked through the hallway and saw her walking towards me, we stopped when we saw each other and realized how much we missed us, our eyes said many things and I noticed how sad she was. From the corner of my eye I noticed someone and ended up locking in those hazel eyes, Jude looked at me and I admitted that I missed him too, his eyes were red and I once again felt that urgency to make him feel better and safe; I take a look at at Anni again and after she noticed that I was looking at Jude she gave me one last look and walked fast to the parking lot. I followed her and called her name so she would stop.

"Anni! Anni please let me explain"; she stopped and turned to look at me.

"There's nothing to explain Noah, I guess it's pretty clear what happened"

"Then please let me apologize"

"For what? For cheating on me? Or for making me believe you loved me when you're actually a fag?"

"Anni please don't say that, I never meant to hurt you..."

"Well you did! And for what? Jude?! He's not worth it, he can't love, he's just and arrogant asshole!"

"Anni, stop it!"; Jude appeared behind me and joined the conversation.

"But it's true, and if you really cared about Noah you would have told him!"

"Tell me what?"; I asked a little bit confused.

"Because what I did will hurt him but he trusted you..."

"Anni what did you do?"; I asked again.

"I had something with Leo and Jude knew all about it"; I finally felt that emptiness in my heart and knew something broke in me, Anni cheated on me, she lied when I worried about Leo and Jude hid everything from me. I've been feeling bad and guilty all this time when Anni did the same thing. We were a mess...

"You cheated on me with Leo?!"

"You kissed my brother!"

"I feel like and idiot, why didn't you tell me?!";I yelled at Jude.

"Why should I? You lied to me about breaking up with Anni! You hurt both of us!"

"You knew the truth the whole time! You used us at your convenience!"; Anni yelled at Jude and a fight between the three of us started.

We screamed and said things we didn't really mean, we were angry and sad and everything just went wrong. After some minutes we just got tired and walked in separated ways, Anni walked to her father's car, Jude just disappeared walking away and I went to my car.

I was mad about everything, I hurt and got hurt in many ways and my life just turned into something I didn't want it to be; it was dramatic and messy, when I thought I was starting to have control over it everything just derailed; I didn't know who I was anymore or what I wanted, I got confused with my feelings and I wasn't sure what to feel anymore.

I'm tired, I don't want to do this anymor...