𝓶𝔂 𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓲𝓼𝓵𝓪𝓶

Struggles

After trying to better myself as a Muslim I had to face a lot of things to a point that I wrote in my journal that

"A girl filled with sins rather than good deed I guess that's what I am. My previous mistakes would never leave me I guess...I am trying to be good but what's the point in it when people will only remember my bad sins."-From my journal.

Some people when they noticed I changed told me that

"I was never gonna be able to be a good Muslim and all the motivation I had to be a good Muslim would end soon"

"What happened? Why are you offering your salah's now?"

I used to cry a lot I felt like I belonged nowhere. I was scared to be with niqabs and the ones who cover themselves properly because I knew at the end of the day they would judge me. I never liked the practicing Muslim who would always start giving you lecture out in the public without caring about anything and telling you that you are a sinner straight away.

The reason I decided to draw a line between the practicing Muslims and me was that I knew the people who will judge me the most would be them and to some point, I still feel it's correct they look down at you just because your not wearing a hijab or abaya, etc but I believe that I just did not meet the best niqabi's and hijabi's and that's okay because I learned a lot from them that even after you feel like your the most practicing Muslim there still so many things that we need to fix in ourselves.

If your a niqabi and a hijabi please don't try to bring others down who don't wear them. Try to be friends with them and be nice to them don't ask questions like"Do you pray your salah's", "Do you listen to music?", "Will you ever wear a hijab?", "Do you know you not modestly dressed?".Rather remember kindness is a mark of faith and whoever is not kind has no faith. You may feel like your just asking them some simple questions but in reality, no your not your just making them feel like you are better than them. This would lead them to spend time with those who don't practice Islam that much as you do so that they can avoid your questions.

If your someone who is being asked these type of questions remind yourself even good people sin cause nobody is perfect and we are always going to make mistakes.

Holy Prophet PBUH said; "It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad, and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent, but silence is better than idle words."

The Greek philosopher, Socrates, tells us that: "the unexamined life is not worth living."

In other words, we need to be constantly asking ourselves what our motives are, what our hopes and aspirations are, and why we want to be good Muslims.

When I faced all of it I told myself there is nothing that you cannot overcome though, and we should never despair in Allah (SWT).

Allah (SWT) guided you to Islam so I should be happy and constantly remind myself of the blessings in my life. There are a lot of good things that will happen as long as you are on the straight road to Jannah(paradise). Alhamdulillah for the guidance Allahswt gave me and I am not perfect yet I know that I am learning and I will continue learning from my mistakes.

May Allah SWT help all of us, Ameen.