The Thing That Makes A Human

1st day after the incident

Word count: 1542
TW: mention of suicide, addictions
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                        Dazai's POV
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I wake up to see the familiar ceiling of my room, along with the usual smell of alcohol and antidepressants. I sit up on the futon and see that the place is cleaner than I left it. It must have been Kunikida who brought me home.

I get up and start my usual morning rutine. Shower, combing, putting on bandages, dressing up, drinking coffee. I am hungry but I skip breakfast. I don't have the mood to eat.

I go over to the pills I left on the nightstand. The antidepressants Chuuya bought me a few weeks ago. I was banned to step into the drugstore.

I stop right before taking the pill. I remember back the last day. The pittifull, afraid, scared look on everyones faces. They know it. Why should I take the pill now?

I get my keys and leave for work.

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                     Kunikida's POV
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"I should have known something was wrong! How didn't I notice?" I ask myself in anger. I should have known he has a reason to wish death. He is really inteligent, mature, and calm when he isn't an idiot. But now I know that he was never an idiot.

"He became a really great actor, and you saw the pills he had on the nightstand. I can't belive that I didn't notice." Ranpo said, while eating candy. But this time I heard sadness and guilt in his voice.

"It's a shame that none of us noticed, I think we all can agree on that." Tanizaki said.

"Yes we can." Kyouka said.
"I can't belive that I knew what he went trought and I didn't do anything. He was raised by Mori too. The only diference is that he was already broken and he broke him even more." I hear Yosano whispering to herself.

"Guys!"
"Yes, Atsushi-kun?" I ask.
"I just saw Dazai-san arriving."

"We should act like we have been working, we will try to cheer him up while working." Kenji says with a hopefull smile and voice.

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                        Dazai's POV
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I arrive at the Agency and the first thing I hear is Atsushi greeting me: "Good morning, Dazai-san!".

'Do they think I'm this stupid?' I think to myself. I know that they have been talking about me. 'Did they forget that I am the best actor here? I even noticed that Ranpo is chewing slower than usual!'

"Mhm, good morning." I say with a lifeless voice as I sit down. "What do I need to do today, Kunikida-kun?" I ask. His surprised expression tells that he didn't think I want to work today. Honestly, I don't. But it's better than thinking about... him.

"Here you go." He says as he puts down at least 50 pages of papperwork.

'Better get doing it.' I think to myself as I start doing the first page.

                    30 minutes pass

"Hey, Dazai-san." Kyouka calls out.
"Hm?" I mumble, not even looking up.
"Can you help me with this crossword?"
"I am working, maybe when I'm done." I say, still typing into the computer.

                        Lunch time

"Dazai-san." Kunikida calls out for the fifth time this day. It's getting annoying.
"What is it?"
"It's lunch time. Won't you come and eat?"
"I am only done with half of the work, so no, thank you." I say beggining to type again.
"Okey..." He says, following the others, down to the caffe.