tortured tutor (edited)

chapter thirty-one

warning this chapter mostly contains self harm and an eating disorder❗️❗️

skylers pov: 

walking through the school doors, hand in hand, i basically got tackled right away. it took my senses a second to kick in when i recognized the vanilla and peach scent of elle.

she pulled away, not before squealing in my ear making me cringe.

"eeeeee how does it feel?! better be good cuz you just lost your freedom" elle and i laughed as grayson jokingly nudged her and ethan squinted at her.
~ "eh it's been okay so far" i shrugged trying to keep a straight face.
"exCuSE me?!" ethan pulled me closer to him.
~ "let me gooo" i tried to push him away when the bell rung but he was too strong.

"go ahead tell them how good i make you feel" he whispered in my ear before letting me go. my cheeks got hot and my eyes widened looking at him before we all rushed to class.

~

SH⚠️

as the boring classes dragged on dark thoughts clouded my mind. old thoughts and old habits resurfaced. my parents telling me i'm pathetic rang in my ears. ethan treats me better than no one else has but i didn't feel in control. seeing the red slits on my body somehow gives me a sense of control.

quietly opening the smallest pocket of my backpack i found my extra blade i hid in there in case of emergencies. i asked to go to the bathroom and waited until i got into a stall to pull up my shirt.
dragging the silver across my stomach, coloring it in red. with each slice i felt more in control. finally feeling content i cleaned the excess blood off my stomach so it wouldn't bleed through my shirt.

pulling my shirt back down, i returned to class with the ability to focus now just with the slight stinging from my stomach noticeable.

getting back just in time, the bell for lunch rang just as i sat back down in my chair. it took me a minute to put all my stuff away so ethan was waiting for me outside. walking to our lunch table with grayson and elle the empty feeling in my stomach i always forced myself to look past, came back.

for ethan i forced myself to eat just half of a sandwich because i don't want him to get sad or worry about me. i'll be okay it's just one day, and i haven't died from starving in the past.

elle rambled on and on distracting the group so i was able to get away with only 4 bites of my sandwich and before ethan could notice i threw the rest away.

soon enough the next bell rang and ethan and i parted once again. luckily we didn't have any classes together today. 

~

the sad, lame, gross, old me was still there as the last bell rang and we were signaled to go home. walking out of the school i saw ethan waiting in his usual spot for us. even past the depression seeing him still made me smile.

ethan was distracted on the phone so he didn't see me as i was walking towards his car but as i got closer i noticed a row of 4 similar cars parked on the street stopping me in my tracks.

authors note:
sorry for the sad, short chapter but what do you guys think is gonna happen?👀