Adorn • Jamie Redknapp

nine

The next morning I get dressed and make my way into central London with Jamie and the boys for the lunch we should've had yesterday. Sitting in the driving seat I can't help sing along to Super Bass as it plays through the speakers of my Mini Cooper.

"You're something else Ellie. You literally know every word" Jamie says with a laugh as he looks over at me.

"I did tell you I was ready to quit my job to become a full time rapper and I was completely serious about it. Just be glad I'm not singing along to WAP"

"Oh god please don't in front of my dad Ellie. You're way too old to know that song" Charley says from the back seat and I'm offend he thinks I'm old.

"I am not old of course I know that song! You're too young to know it anyway!" I say looking through my mirror at Charley.

"I don't even want to know" Jamie says with a laugh as I park as close to Zuma as I can. Making our way to the restaurant I walk hand in hand with Jamie. I know what his career is and what it entails but it's nice to be able to go out like this. It feels like a normal relationship and that's how I want it to be. Jamie's fame means nothing to me despite what a lot of people will think.

Sitting down at our table I can see people looking at me judging me and Jamie for being together. Although we haven't been hiding our relationship, we haven't been rubbing it in peoples faces either. The way I see it is if people know we're together they know. I'm in a good place right now and I don't want anything to ruin that.

"I have a question for you all" Jamie says taking a drink of his bottle of peroni "I've been asked to go on a talk show, I think it was Jonathan Ross and I know me and Ellie being together will get brought up I just want to know what you all want me to say if I do get asked" I never thought about Jamie doing interviews and people wanting to know what is going on in his life, however before I get a chance to say anything Charley jumps in.

"You should tell everyone you're together. You're both happy and you have nothing to hide. There's no reason for you to keep anything a secret" listening to Charley, he never fails to astound me with his maturity. He could be a typical teenager over this but he isn't, he's in his dads corner all the way.

"I think the same as Charley. I tell everyone about Ellie anyway" Beau pipes up from his seat and my heart could literally burst with these two. The way they've accepted me has been incredible, I've never been in this situation but I could imagine this would be the best outcome.

"I think that's been decided for us then hasn't it. Can I just say one thing?" I ask to a chorus of yeah's "promise me if the attention ever gets too much you'll tell us please?" I'm speaking more to the boys now. I know Jamie can handle himself but like Jamie, I want to protect the boys from the public and their opinions.

"We promise Ellie" Beau says standing up to come and hug me and Jamie. I know between us we'll make this work in our way.

By the end of the week I'm exhausted after four flights backwards and forwards to New York with barley any layover time between any of the flights. Tonight Jamie's interview with Jonathan Ross is being broadcast live and rather than sit at home watching it, I'm at Jamie's waiting for him to get home afterwards. The kids are with Louise this weekend before we go on holiday to Miami next weekend, something I'm looking forward to but I'm nervous for at the same time. I feel like it could be a deal breaker in my relationship. Pushing any thoughts to the back of my mind I settle myself in bed with a glass of white wine and turn on the TV. Most of the interview is your run of the mill stuff, mundane so to speak. I don't listen to a lot of what is being said until Jonathan gets my attention.

"So Jamie, you're in a new relationship things seem to be going well for you any plans for more kids in the future?" Jonathan Ross asks Jamie and he looks as caught off guard as I am and I'm sat at home watching the interview. So far it's been a good interview but this just takes things in a totally different direction.

"Honestly never say never. I thought my days of dirty nappies were over a long time ago but me and Ellie haven't actually had that conversation yet, she might want kids of her own she might not. I honestly don't know the answer to that question. Like you said it's still quite a new relationship but I will say she is brilliant with my boys. There's a lot of mutual respect between them and it's nice to see them all getting on so well" Jamie says, quite the diplomatic answer especially from him! I can't wait to see what he has to say when he gets home. Watching the rest of the interview I can't get the question out of my head. We've only been together officially for four months and in a lot of ways I still feel like I'm getting to know Jamie after only meeting him five months ago. Are we even serious enough to be thinking about kids?

"That felt like I was being interrogated by your dad!" Jamie says walking into the bedroom coming over to kiss me "how was your night?"

"Let's just say interesting and leave it at that should we" I say kneeling up on the bed to wrap my arms around Jamie's neck.

"Yeah it caught me off guard as well. If I knew questions like that would come up I would've asked to see them beforehand. At least then I could have warned you" Jamie says running his fingers up and down my back gently.

"I suppose people are going to ask though aren't they" I say with a shrug. Every time I've got with someone I've been asked if kids are on the cards it's just never been as public as this "so now the subject has been brought up, tell me honestly would you ever want more kids?" I ask and truthfully I don't know what answer I want to hear.

"I don't know Ellie and that's being completely honest with you. I did think my days of having a baby was done you know I've got two boys that are getting older, I'm getting older but now I wouldn't be completely against it. I thought all of this when I thought I'd be married forever and obviously things are completely different now" Jamie says and I can see it in his face how serious he is. "Do you want kids? I can't just assume that because I have kids that you don't want any of your own"

"I've never felt like I've been in a relationship that's been serious enough to consider kids but I know one day I'd love to be a mum. Being around Charley and Beau so much has made me realise that even more and seeing your relationship with them makes me want that one day. Don't get me wrong I think they're great kids and you're such a good dad but I know they aren't my kids. They're yours and that's just facts" I don't really know where I'm going with this but I know that no matter how I look at it, I'll never be Charley and Beau's mum.

"They might be my kids but it doesn't mean I won't ask for your opinion or anything like that. You're still going to have an influence on their lives"

"Don't tell Louise that" I know Jamie and Louise have to get on for the kids sake but I get the feeling she won't ever like me even after only meeting her a handful of times, especially after last time we saw each other.

"Ellie she will get over whatever issue she has with you. I'd understand if she had a boyfriend, I'd want them to be a positive influence and she has no reason for you not to be around Charley and Beau"

"I suppose it's always going to be one of them things isn't it? I'm a woman who isn't family and I'm in her kids lives. Just as well they're worth it isn't it?" I say kissing Jamie trying to lighten the mood "please hurry up and shower, the bed's lonely without you" kissing Jamie I start to unbutton his shirt. I know he'll be having a shower, he always does when he gets home.

"Don't tease it's not fair because I know you'll have fallen asleep by the time I get back" Jamie says trying to be angry however he can't hold back his laugh.

"One day I might surprise you and still be awake"

"Pigs might fly as well Ellie" Jamie says kissing me before making his way to the bathroom. I know I'm lucky and I appreciate every day I get to spend time with Jamie. He came into my life when I didn't realise how much I needed someone like him.