Adorn • Jamie Redknapp

fifteen

"Did you tell mum and Lucy why you were raging last night?" Jamie says with a laugh as we all sit on the deck eating breakfast.

"Why would you even bring that up? Is that some kind of sick joke?" I say. Jamie knows how annoyed I was why would he try to wind me up like this?

"What did you do J?" Sandra asks looking at Jamie.

"What did he do? He decided to eat toast in bed last night and dropped the plate so there was crumbs everywhere! I asked him not to but he still sat there crunching toast in my ear" I say trying not to get angry but it's not working.

"You could've picked something less messy J" Lucy says and I feel like she gets me.

"Ellie do you not think this is all a bit dramatic? It was only crumbs in the bed and it brushed off the sheets" Jamie says and I see red. I never thought I'd ever get this angry over toast crumbs in the bed.

"You're a joke Jamie. Why would you say that?" I say standing up now completely raging compared to how I was a few moments ago "I'm done with you don't even bother speaking to me"

"Come on Ellie don't be like that" I hear Jamie say as I make my way through the yacht trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"Leave me alone Jamie" feeling the tears in my eyes I walk into our cabin closing the door. I know it's a stupid reason to get upset but pregnancy hormones are messing with me badly and right now I feel like my behaviour is rational. Hearing a knock on the door a while later I'm grateful I've been left alone to calm down "who is it?"

"It's me. Can I come in?" Hearing Beau outside of the door I know I can't take this out on him.

"Yeah of course you can" I say watching Beau walk into the room. "What's up?"

"Are you okay now Ellie?" Beau asks sheepishly as he stands in the doorway.

"Come and sit down" I say patting the sofa next to me "I'll be okay it's just this little one messing with my hormones which means from time to time I might go a little crazy and sometimes it could be over something silly but just remember I don't mean anything I say when I'm like that"

"Does that mean you're not going to leave my dad?" Beau asks and I feel guilty that my behaviour is making him feel like that.

"Oh god no I'm not leaving your dad" I say pulling Beau into a cuddle "don't tell him I said this because he'll never let me forget it but I love your dad so much. He knows I love him but I don't think he realises just how much I love him. I love him so much I can't imagine my life without him" I say knowing I have to tell Beau the truth.

"He loves you too Ellie I just know it" Beau says looking up at me "just like me and Charley love you as well"

"I love you and your brother so much Beau" I say kissing the top of Beau's head feeling my eyes fill with tears. One of my biggest fears when I first got with Jamie was what his kids would think of me but hearing his youngest son say that literally fills my heart with so much love. The three of them mean everything to me.

"Don't worry about not telling dad anything I heard it all" Jamie says hugging me and Beau over the back of the sofa "can you give us a minute Beau?" Watching Beau leave our cabin I turn to look at Jamie.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't think this would have such a negative effect on Beau I feel horrible" I say standing up and walking towards Jamie.

"Listening to what he just said I don't think you need to worry" Jamie says as he pulls me into him "I should be the one saying sorry I tried to wind you up and it backfired I didn't mean to annoy you that much"