Soul Exchange With The Tragic Villain [BL, yaoi]

ch 20: dignity

Trigger warning: this chapter deals with sexual harrasment And abuse, so if you aren't in the right headspace and if this is something that might trigger you, please skip this chapter, we will meet again in the next chapter when you are feeling better. Again your mental health is more important, please take care!

"if you wish to save your career and life bend on your knees."
Things haven't ever gotten this bizzare and dangerous, ever. His hand is tightly latched on to my head as he pushes my face onto his crotch. It feels so disgusting..
If I have to abandon my honor and self esteem to get violated by a man who pushes his work onto me. I would rather choose to end my career here and starve on the streets. But then this job has given me my career, a small place to live in... What would come of it if I let it go?
What would I say to my sis? Won't her kids laugh at their jobless uncle? Where will I get a new job from?
"Ijiwaru san.. "
He presses my head harder onto his crotch
"let's not do this... Please"
"You have crossed all limits of my patience, from today, YOU will be my personal toy"
A toy.
From a human being, to a punching bag, to a s"x toy. I have endured so much over the years, harrasment, piles of work, butt grabbing, spite and hatred, but this is too much.

"Sir... Sir... Let's not do this. I am boring and unattractive right? I would do all the work you throw at me but please not this."  I feel so pathetic, begging HIM, of all men for mercy.

"Did you not hear what I just said? You do have a sister and her husband and their children right? Are you aware of what I can do to them?" I was in the radar for the entire time I guess.

"Do not even dream of touching them, you sick bastard!"

"Lower that voice of yours, from now on, you know what to do... If you want them safe."

just why. Just why in this world do I have to bear this, just what the hell does he see in me that I end up like this? His grip over my hair and then stability of my life getting tighter with each passing second.

"Now open your mouth and take it all in, just like the little $l_t you are supposed to be."
I felt my guilt, the bonding with the office and this world, my position, my salary chain me up like a hand controlled puppet, pulled by the strings of fear and desperation. Tears strung down my cheeks wetting the fabric of his pants. I feel so helpless, like sinking into a bottomless pit, surrounded by the darkness of my future. I can't resist this, even if I want to. How can I just let go of all that I have built over the years..?

Just when everything reached at it's peak and the event of dignity loss was near, the sight of my bathroom changed imagery in front of my eyes. The same stinging sensation of cold water running through my body, long gone bubbles, screaming alarms and the mobile clock stuck at seven. Most importantly, I wasn't going to get violated ... It was just a dream.

the same routine again-- bread in my mouth, reluctance in my heart, crowded trains of Tokyo, tables and tally ledgers and excel sheets in front of my face. Whispers near my ears...
Wait a second..
Didn't I do this yesterday... In that dream? A lot of transactions that occurred during the months were missing from the list of entries so I had to enter them again and again before preparing the trial balance.

"Ah anno... Kuroda san, can you please do this part for me?"
It was Shizukawa again, that piece of sh*t of a kouhai who dumps his work occasionally onto me. He then chats continuously bragging about his married wife, adventurous paid vacations, his young and cute children which I can never have, for no woman wants to date, let alone--marry, a corporate slave. Then comes constant guilt of being "boring" and "unattractive"
Gladly, This event didn't happen in the dream right? I wouldn't be left with the choice of dying or slavery right?

"Pathetic.. aren't you?"
"Excuse me!?"

"Kuroda san, section chief has called for you, as soon as possible"

"Ahh Kuroda san has graced us with his presence"
Deja Vu? A curse, a blessing? Those exact words are being repeated, the same insults, the same tantrums, that I had seen in my dream... I hope that this doesn't happen again... No, please.
"This transaction should have been here, where is all your attention?
Why do you think that you have been employed"
The same thing, again and again.
"You... Yes you... Why are you silent?" He grabbed me by the neck, again.
"You have two options: say a whole hearted goodbye to your job and poor living conditions.
Or.. bend"

"Bend on my knees? For what? To suck your little d*ck? To be your personal s*x slave ?"

His eyes squinted in surprise for a moment, then, an evil grin spread across his face. He grabbed my tie and dragged me closer. It wasn't a good sign.
He soon buried his face between my neck shoulder, tightening his embrace.

"You know what to do already? What a f*ck*ng s+^t...eh?
turns out, you are smarter than I had ever imagined."

I wasn't going through this again, not a f_cking chance. I wanted to protest but no words came out of my mouth. It's the same thing those chains of- guilt, protectiveness, fear and attachment holding me down. Is this going to be my fate from now? Being violated again and again for the sadistic pleasures of the man that I extremely despise. The horrors that he can possibly inflict on my family send shivers down the spine. I guess, after all these years of harmless lectures and tons of work that he dumped on me....I forgot what he was actually capable of.

******************************************
Author's corner

Harro Minna san...
Ogenki desu ka?

So... A lot of people had issues with the previous chapter,(like how it was chaotic) but I didn't want to spoil ahead... So I didn't want to give away much details.. it turns out that the plan went kinda downhill...😅

We are nearing the end of this arc, with our mc facing one of his worst fears and attachments. How will he get out of this situation? We fill find it out in the next chapter..

Thank you so much  for reading the chapter...  I will try updating as soon as possible!
(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧