Barely Breathing

Been a While..

I haven't written in a while...

Because I have so much stress that I'm ot able to write.

I haven't been doing good lately...

Last night I found a pocket knife...

 and it kind of triggered me...and I didn't know what to do....

I just sat there ned stared at it...

then I found a pencil sharpener and I actual have it with me whie I write this... and I'm writing this during school....

I feel like no matter how hard I try depression is alwas gonna be behind me...screaming that I'm not worth the trouble so why do you even try in school...why do you even try in life....I don't see how your boyfriend even loves you...you're ugly...you're disgusting, you're fat. 

You don't deserve someone like him.

You are you...and you are worthless.

And that's how I feel everyday...

and when I take my meds I still feel the same way I just feel like I can control my emotions...

Like I can cry on the inside...

That's basically my life now.....

and I can't help that...

I'm worthless...Remember.