Barely Breathing

The Utter Most Part Of My Soul

I can barely see out of my own eyes.. 

don't get me wrong I almost have perfect vision, but the things inside are causing my to go blind.

I can no longer is hope in anything. 

I can no longer see love in my own mother. 

I can no longer see me.

Like I said before. 

I am not myself anymore, I've become someone totally different. 

I'm trapped withing the utter most part of my soul and the only option I see,

is to die,

If it wasn't for my friends and boyfriend I would've already taken that option to another level. 

Considering I like pain, just the word makes me feel good, makes me feel at home. 

Because its all  I've ever known. 

Otherwise I wouldn't be on here explaining to you my feelings of destruction towards myself. 

Or even tell you've that I've harmed myself multiple times. 

You see, my life will fall apart in time. its not like it already hasn't. 

I will never see the truth in anything because I'm so blind and focusing on the darkness instead of the light. 

I'm becoming insane.....

slowly and slowly.