Regrets | Jin Centric | Completed

Namjoon

I felt that something was not correct, but I thought they were only hallucinations of mine and didn't care. But when they became more considerable and too serious to forget, I waited for Namjoon to tell him everything.

But I couldn't figure out where to start or where to end. But I must tell him today, no matter what. When Joon came in, I went towards him to tell him everything.

"I'm tired hyung. Everything was too bad"

I can tell how exhausted Joon was just by seeing his eyes. I didn't want to talk with him when he was tired. I couldn't make up my mind to add some more problems to his mind. So I decided to tell him these some other time.

I sat in front of him to talk when he came to the dinner after cleaning himself up. I can't hide them anymore. As everyone else was sleeping, I thought this was the best time to tell him now, before I was too late.

"Joon I-"

"Thanks for the dinner, hyung. I'm going to sleep"

"Joon"

"Hyung?"

"I want to talk with you"

"Not today, hyung. Let's talk later. I'm sleepy"

I stood there looking at Joon going to his bedroom upstairs.

Flashback

Joon scolded the maknae line twice today. And argued with Yoongi. I noticed the sudden difference in Joon, but I thought he had a bigger problem in his head. But as he ignored me every time I tried to talk, I thought he didn't like to share it.

But today, I made up my mind to ask him somehow and waited for him to come back from the studio.

Although I was tired by practicing the whole day, although my whole body told me to sleep now, I barely kept my eyes opened and waited for Joon.

It was 9pm, but he wasn't here.

It was 10pm, but he wasn't here.

It was 11m, but he wasn't here.

It was 12am, but he wasn't here.

I really want to sleep now. But Joon wasn't here yet. I waited till 1am and got up to go to the studio to check for him. But he came opening the door before I move.

"Joon, why were you late? Wait I'll heat up the dinner"

"It's okay hyung"

"No I'll make it quick"

"I can't eat, hyung"

"I had my dinner at the studio"

I looked at Joon to check if he was lying. But his eyes didn't seem to lie. I went to him and made him sit, and sat in front of him.

"Joon"

"Hyung?"

"What's wrong?"

"What, hyung?"

"What is troubling you?"

"Nothing, hyung"

"Don't lie. I had my eyes on you for days now. You have changed a lot. You get angry easily. You don't eat well. And you spend most of the day in the studio. You ignore all of us. What's your problem?"

Joon stared at me for a while and opened his mouth.

"You are right, hyung. I have a problem. I think I am not a good leader....."

It was 4am when we finished our talk.