The Hunger Games ~ Peeta's POV

Chapter 9

Ch. 9

I nervously finish the day of training, blind to whatever I'm physically doing. I mean, someone could walk up to me and randomly push me over and I wouldn't realize it until a couple of seconds after I hit the floor. I'm too preoccupied with my thoughts to really care.

Why was Katniss so upset when she came out of the gymnasium? It's eating me away slowly but painfully all throughout the day. Did she... You know... Kill a Gamemaker? I squeeze the knife in my hand so hard that I cry out for pain when it begins to dig into my flesh. My blood begins dripping in a steady stream onto the multicolored carpet. The man at the knife throwing station pushes me towards a less violent skill. No, she couldn't kill a Gamemaker. Surely they would go after her. But they didn't. So why was she upset? I can't really think of anything that she could do to make her so flushed.

I go through the rest of my day in silence, only speaking to the trainers at the stations, if even. I'm itching to go find Katniss and tell her everything's alright, and that she's safe. Nothing she could do would tick off the Gamemakers enough to male them kill her in the arena, or single her out from the rest of the tributes.

When the training session is finally over, I'm first to the elevator, zipping up the shaft. I change my mind about modern technology; I like it. I speed walk my way to Katniss's room, but it still takes a couple of minutes because of the size of the place.

I hear muddled sobs as soon as I get to her hall. They sound heartbroken and scared. I'm a little surprised, because Katniss had never seemed like the crying type. She was too brave and strong for her own good. I give a quick rap on her door, holding my breath.

"Go away, Haymitch!" I hear her scream, and there's a thunk as she hurls something at the door; a pillow, probably. Maybe I shouldn't have come... I might just end up making her angrier. But, I put that aside and keep knocking until I know for sure that she's not answering the door.

I trudge back to my room, a little bit disappointed that I didn't get anything useful out of that trip down the hall. After I take a shower and change shirts into something clean, the little dice from my dad catches my eye. It's still sitting on the dresser, where I had put it several nights earlier. A reminder of home. Snarky, arrogant, familiar home. A place filled with people that I'll never see again.

I sigh and remember that this was my decision, my choice to do this. To protect Katniss. To make her the winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games. Now, to put that plan into action. However I do that. But I can't think of home, because that will only get me depressed.

Effie calls me to dinner, and my spirits are lifted by the thought of seeing Katniss and finding out what happened back in the gym. I mosey my way to the dinning room. Everyone is already there except for Katniss; even Cinna and Portia, who had been skipping out on us for the past couple of days.

After a few minutes, Katniss finally shows up, and she's a total wreck. I can tell she tried to conceal it, but her eyes are red and puffy from all of that crying. She silently sits down and takes minuet slurps of her soup, meeting no one's eyes.

Everyone but Katniss and I begin light conversation about this week's forecast. At some point, Katniss catches me staring at her quizzically, and gives her head a small shake, not enough to set off the others. I let out a tense breath impatiently. She doesn't seem to notice.

Haymitch, not unlike me, gets impatient. "Okay, enough small talk, just how bad were you today?"

I recall the end of my session, when everyone started singing about spirits and wine and the end of the rainbow or something. I just now remember this because I was caught up in myself. Scoff. I'm so self centered, I'm blind. Ugh. "I don't know that it mattered. By the time I showed up, no one bothered to even look at me. They were singing some kind of drinking song, I think. So, I threw around some heavy objects until they told me I could go."