Fourth of October (Juntarsiego Series #1)

Chapter 30

At first, I hesitated to believe everything I heard. That Jaeden will not have guts to do it because he knows my parents so well.

I've been calling him several times but I've got no response. Another reason for me to overthink so I did ma'am De Jesus' advice to me to finish this all.

I refused to cry and mourn again for I know that I can't continue life just by crying. Nothing will happen if I won't have an action.

Buong byahe namin ay tulala lang ako. I left Chantal without a word before I went here in the province. Hindi ko kayang magpaliwanag sa kanya ng lahat na ganito ang sitwasyon ko. She's been calling me multiple times, messaging and asking where the hell am I.

Wala akong sagot sa mga iyon. All I want is to see Jaeden in flesh.

Maraming tanong ang nasa isip ko ngayon kahit na hindi pa nakakarating ng police station. I breathed hardly as I bit my lip to not cry in public.

Ubos na ubos na ako. I've been crying for about a couple of hours when my parents died. Siguro ganoon nga kapag sobrang mahal mo ang tao. You cry and cry until you can't feel anything at last. Parang pinapatay na rin ang sarili mo sa ganoong paraan.

Right now, though I am still longing for my parents' presence, I am slowly taking a step for another life that I will spend. There will be a big difference. Marami ang mangyayari pero hindi katulad ng dati, sigurado akong walang saysay na ang mga iyon.

I am not giving up. I just don't feel another life that I'll cherish. So much sadness for it now.

Bumaba kami ng sasakyan nang makarating na sa istasyon. It's a gloomy day for me. The color of the sky is not beautiful the way I see it as always.  I can't believe that I will see Jaeden inside of this place. He doesn't belong here and I still can't stand the truth.

He killed them.

"He's jailed now, Diana. Nakikiusap ako sa'yo na sana ay huwag kang magpadala sa emosyon mo," paalala sa akin ni ma'am na tinanguan ko na lamang.

Hindi ko maisaisip ang mukha nitong nalulungkot at nagsisisi sa nagawa. I can't imagine him being cuffed while slowly walking to me head's down and wearing that orange shirt, the usual outfit of the prisoners.

Kaya pala hindi niya nasasagot ang mga tawag ko. Naroon na pala ito sa loob.

I waited for him on the table. Hinayaan ako ni ma'am De Jesus na maghintay sa kanya roon ng mag-isa. My eyes are tired but I managed to make them back on their senses as I heard the light footsteps coming to my side.

One police officer is holding him while his two wrists are cuffed. He silently obeyed what the officer said to him. I met his blue eyes. Its expression is now different from what I am always seeing from him before. I still can see no regrets, tears or any guilt from what he has done. It's all plain. The beauty of it faded.

Like a deep ocean that is impossible to reach its bottom. That if you tried going down, you'll meet your death.

Hindi niya ako binalikan ng tingin. He's avoiding my stares at him. Wala akong epekto sa kanya. He just sat in front of me, saying nothing as if he's waiting for me to finally talk.

Gusto kong magsalita pero walang lumalabas sa akin. I only looked at him with my sorrowful eyes as if the colors went away. That simple yet unproblematic aura of him is now gone. He seems not caring to what am I doing here, that I am seeing him for a reason.

"Jaed?" The tears were just my imagination, a part of my plan that I should not cry in front of him while confronting him.

I thought I can act strong while voicing out his name after knowing the crime he did. I thought I cannot be weak while seeing him now in front of me while he's not doing anything after I called him many times for days. I thought I can still feel the love that we have shared for years.