Tears In Heaven

9 - Late Realizations

"Mahal na mahal kita Hades. Yun lang lagi mong tatandaan"

Napabangon ako sa kama after hearing those words... yun ang lagi lagi niyang sinasabi, but I never got the chance to tell her how I honestly felt until that night. That night I owned her.

Ang laki kong gago not to trust her afterwards. At pinagsisisihan ko yun. Sobra.

I looked back the bed only to see my daughter sound asleep. Inayos ko ang buhok niya. Looking at her... she greatly resembles her mother.

"Babawi ako Fara, hindi man sa'yo pero sa anak natin. Hindi ko pababayaan ang anak natin pangako"

Fara... she changed me. From the first time we met... until we became friends. She was a cheerful and energetic girl. With all the hopes and goals she wanted to do.

Hindi ko man lang napansin sa sarili ko na noon pa lang sa pagkakataong nagkausap kami ng malalim, nahulog na pala ako.

"Mapagod ka naman kakatakbo hahaha, bakit ba lagi na lang ako nasa eksena pag may kaaway ka,hoo!"

"Pag di ako tumakbo mapapatay ako"

"Hmmm, so gusto mo pa talagang mabuhay. Bat sabi mo dati sana mamatay ka na lang?"

"My mind changes you know?"

"Then change the way you see things, maybe for once, kapag hinarap mo mga tinatakbuhan mo, a better tomorrow awaits for you"

"Pano kung hindi?"

"Edi lesson learned? Balik sa pagtakbo ganun hahaha"

"Tch"

"But seriously, may mga panahon na dapat harapin natin yung mga bagay that's chasing us, if not it will just be an endless chase, hindi matatapos ang problema kung palagi lang nating tatakbuhan di ba?"

"Bahala na"

"Pag-isipan mo rin. Kasi ikaw? Gusto mo ba hanggang sa tumanda at lumaki ka with someone looking up to you, wala kang bukas? Na wala kang ginagawa kung hindi tumakbo? Na yun yung makikita ng anak mo at yun ang tutularan niya sayo? Di ba mas gugustuhin mong makita ka ng anak mo as someone worth looking up to?"

"Oo..."

"Then you should start now. Mahirap... pero andito lang ako para sa'yo Hades, pangako yan"

I never realized that you were the one who taught me to seek for a better me. For a better version of myself, and that all that I am today was because of you. Because you pushed me. You were the ones behind me saying "kaya mo yan, may panahon pa, may pagkakataon pa"

And now, ipinamukha mo lang ulit saken na... na kahit wala ka na... kaya ko pa ring maging ama. Na kaya ko pa ring bumawi sayo at mabigyan ng pagpapahalaga ang isang mahalagang alaala na iniwan mo samin ng magulang mo... and that's our daughter Claire.

Alam ko wala akong karapatang humiling sayo nito, but... can you... can you at least give me a chance to talk to you? Even in my dreams, Fara. Kahit isang saglit lang... kahit ilang segundo lang, kailangan kita.

Andami kong gustong sabihin sa'yo. Andami kong gustong ihingi ng tawad. I know that it will be too much to say that I want you back, but I really do. I really really miss you.