Tears In Heaven

12 - Wish Upon a Star

"Wow papa!! Kitang kita yung stars dito!!" Claire happily exclaimed when we reached the place for stargazing.

"You like it?"

"Yes papa!!"

"Oh sige. Maupo ka muna dyan while I fix our tent okay?"

"Okay po!"

I tapped her head bago ngumiti sa bata saka ako nagsimulang ayusin ang mga gamit namin.

"Papa?"

"Hmm?"

"What's the story behind the big dipper?"

"Huh?" Takang tanong ko dito still continuing what I was doing

"Sabi kasi ni mama, yun yung favourite constellation niya po"

"Ahh..." natawa na lang ako thinking of that time I brought Fara to a same place like this

"Ha?? Anong pangalan yun?? Pano naging ganun yung star?"

"Opiuchus, Fara, hahahaha"

"Ehh?! Hirap naman ng pangalan tas hirap pa makita wala ba madali???"

"Madali ba lang gusto mo?"

"Oo. Ni hindi ko alam pano mo nalaman yang Opiuc-pyuk Opiu ahh basta yung sinabi mo!"

"Ayun. Kita mo yung apat na maliwanag na star na parang bumubuo ng box?"

"Oh?"

"Tapos yung isang star parang may nakalinyang stars after it?"

"Oh?"

"That's a constellation"

"Eh?? Mukhang tabo"

"Literally. Tabo talaga yan. That's called the big dipper"

"Ehh?!"

"Yup hahaha"

"Ayan! Yan na lang favourite ko!"

"Tch. You're crazy"

"Mas crazy ka psh"

"Let's just say that's all your mom can see in the stars kaya yun yung favourite niya"

"Really papa?"

"Yeah. Your mom has some hard times pronouncing words haha"

"Grabe ka kay mama, papa!!"

"Just saying baby hahaha lika na dito" sambit ko as I sit down tapping beside me para papuntahin dun si Claire

"Papa andaming stars, how can I see mama naman dito"

"Alam mo kung pano?"

"How papa?"

"Talk to her through your heart. Close your eyes and call your mama. Then if you feel something inside you, open your eyes back, you'll see one significant star shining"

Pagkatapos ko sabihin yun, she immediately did it. I don't even know if that'll work pero sinabayan ko lang ang anak ko sa ginawa niya.

"Kamusta ka, Fara? Sana nakikita mo anak mo ngayon... I hope I'm not disappointing you in any way... I love you Fara. I still do" sambit ko sa sarili ko then I opened my eyes when Claire exclaimed

"Papa!!! Look!! It's mama!! Mama!!" Sambit niya waving hands at the stars as if waving at her mom

I looked up and saw a specifically shiny star as well. I really wish I can still have you beside me but I know God has his own reasons. God has his own plans. Kung ano man yun hindi ko rin alam, pero mangangako ako na lalaban at lalaban ako. I won't know how, but knowing you're still there, gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko.

We may have had the bad past that we shouldn't have experienced, pero now... losing you, seeing my daughter... alam ko sa sarili ko that the purpose I was continuously looking before was here. Was to be our child's guidance, and source of love. Hindi man naging happy ending ang mga bagay sa pagitan nating dalawa... the new chapter that you opened in my life, changed me. The new chapter you gave me, including our daughter, the start was painful. Was hard... and it still is but knowing you give all your trust in me despite all that I have done... despite all the damages I made in your life. Alam kong kakayanin ko. Dapat kayanin ko.

I wished before that I can see and talk to you one last time, and it happened. I wish I can experience that again but I know it's not in my hands, it's out of my control. I saw you but I know you don't belong here anymore.

Everything was involved with tears, pain and anger. Anger to myself on how foolish I was, but talking to you made me realize, this is no time for me to drown in tears, because Claire is waiting for my hands to hold her. I know you said you left with a happy heart and you want me to find that happiness as well, but you're the only happiness I know Fara. And I don't think anyone can replace that.

I'll keep moving forward. I'll keep on waiting for you in my dreams, I'll guide and give all the love you want Claire to feel and give her all she needs but I'll promise I'll stop these tears, maybe not now, but soon, Fara. Soon, this pain will stop, but my love for you will never ever end. I promise you that.

"Papa?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you wishing for?"

"Wish?"

"A lot of stars are here papa, we can wish on them right? What's yours papa?"

"My wish?" Sambit ko caressing my daughter's hair "my wish is for you to find and fight for the right love in the future. Na hindi ka magaya kay papa"

"Why mine papa? How about you po?"

"I already found mine Claire. She's watching us from above"

"Mama!!"

"Haha yes yes. She's the one"

That whole night was spent by us bonding and looking up the stars observing them shine on us. Her counting them, me contemplating on the life I had. Finding myself saying this in a low voice...

"We'll see each other again Fara. And when it happens, I won't lose you again. Ever"

THE END

This story is more focused on how a person who lost a chance of fighting for his love, repents on his mistakes, stands up and moves forward. Na hindi dahil namatay na yung taong minahal natin, dun na matatapos ang lahat. Na may bukas pang nakalaan para satin kaya tayo naiwan. In Hades' case. Nawala man si Fara, hindi man niya ito nabawian sa mga pagkakamali niya noon, Fara left a part of her para kay Hades, and that's Claire. At si Claire ang ginawang instrumento ni Fara for him to continue living. To continue fighting and be her anchor. It may be hard for Hades but deep inside his heart he knows that wherever Fara is, there's no more pain, there's no more tears, and that's all he ever wanted for Fara to feel. Happiness.