The Cry of Silence

Prologue

TW: death, cancer, alcohol, abuse, depression, SH

                                  - M A E V E -

I can still hear the last beep of the heart monitor stopping and seeing my mother's chest rise then fall for the last time. The sound of my silent tears turn to sobs and Serenity holding me with salty tears streaming down her face.
I felt my mother's hand go limp in mine and that's when I knew she was gone. Truly gone. The realisation hit me and I turned to Serenity and sobbed into the nape of her neck as she held me. Dad had already left the room, struggling to cope with the death. Two nurses came in and gave us sympathetic gazes before starting to clean up.
Serenity and I left, slowly walking down the hospital corridor knowing that Dad would have already left and made his way to the bar. He never used to be like that. When we were younger, he used to be the caring and loving Dad, but when Mum got diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, he started to go drinking. It started off being only a few times a month but it soon became more regular and soon he was out every night, coming home reeking of alcohol to drown his sadness. But it was never just sadness, anger followed the despair and it was always Serenity and I who paid the price.

I was never the popular twin, that was Serenity. She seemed to have an energy that drew people to her and being the social butterfly she was, she loved it. She was outgoing and a high achiever. She was always surrounded by people and loved by all, teachers and peers. I however was the opposite. Quiet and had only a few friends. School was easy for me and I did well in all of my classes. I was respected by the teachers but it was different from how they respected Serenity.
We were identical twins but more importantly we were best friends. As we got older and started driving independently, she started going out more. For her own entertainment and to escape Dad's violence. I always got it worse than her though. Dad had always liked Serenity better whereas I was a Mumma's girl.
When Mum died, I took it harder than Serenity. Depression hit me hard and I felt Dad's anger was meant to be. Serenity was always trying to get me to go out with her, escape from Dad and have some fun but I rarely did and when I did, I hated it. I hated the atmosphere of having so many people around me, trapping me. Being happy felt like a crime and a sign I had gotten over Mum's death. I almost hated Serenity for going out with her friends constantly but soon realised when I heard her silently crying late in her room that she wasn't happy but instead it was her way to cope, mask her feelings and hide the pain she was feeling.

A year after Mum's death I could only wear long sleeved clothes which was usually fine for the normal British weather. Bruises and cuts from Dad covered my body along with my arms being striped by my own depression state. Serenity noticed and tried to hide all of the sharp object that I could possibly hurt myself with but it never worked.
I had pushed all of my friends away after the accident and the teachers worried about me, a few trying to get me to go to the counsellors but would never succeed. My Dad never cared enough to take me to a doctor or even notice what was going on, instead focusing on Serenity or his own misery. Although the tight grips of depression had me hostage, I always had Serenity. That was until I didn't.

We were the Sharp twins. Maeve and Serenity Sharp. Then it was just me. Maeve Sharp. And that was because of the accident.