The Cry of Silence

8 - Sleepless

TW: Sexual abuse, Abuse, Coarse language

- M A E V E -

I stumble, practically fall through my front door, panting with tears still streaming down my face.

"Where the hell have you been you little shit," my father hisses at me.

I could barely get the words out of my mouth; I was crying so much. "H- he- he was on t- top o- of me," I managed to stutter out between the tears. "I- I couldn't g-get a-a-away," I started to wail, sobs shaking my fragile body.

"Don't lie to me you little whore," My father grabbed a chunk of my hair and started jolting my head around and hitting me.
"YOU WERE OUT WITH A BOY WEREN'T YOU? I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WOULD BE A SLUT!" His words were like a stab in my heart.

My loud cries filled the air. The pain was so much that I struggled to stay conscious. Then everything went quiet, the air calmed. Was I dead? Surely not. I looked around. I was sitting exactly at the same spot Dad had just been hitting me in. I looked around for him but it was as if he had just melted into thin air.

The more I look, the weirder things get. The house was bright from the sunlight streaming through, and it was clean? There were no empty beer bottles strewn across the living room. I saw movement from around the wall and heard people. This is really weird, I thought to myself. I followed the sound and stopped dead in my tracks at what I saw. It was my mother and sister dancing and singing to ABBA, just like they used to. They had a bright luminescent glow around them which was heightened from the sunlight.

Silent tears rolled down my face as I saw them, happy and carefree. They turned and with bright smiles looks at me. My mother walked towards me and rested a hand on my shoulder. Oh god it was like I could feel it. I looked at her smile and realised how much I had missed it. How it made the skin around her eyes crinkle and made everyone else smile around her.

"It's going to be okay, Maeve. I promise." She said, her voice gentle. I look into her eyes. The pale blue twinkled and she smiled at me before pulling me into a hug. How I needed that hug. I almost fell into her I was so desperate. I kept a tight hold, trying to make sure she could never leave.

I felt her whisper something in my ear. "We will always be with you." A sob racket through my body from that simple sentence. I felt my sister join the hug and I finally felt safe. My eyes were squeezed closed tightly and soon I noticed how the warmth had left. I was alone. Standing by myself in the kitchen. No longer was the house bright and clean. No longer were my mother and sister here with me and ABBA was long gone.

I looked out to see if my father's car was still in the driveway and it wasn't. I sigh. He was drinking his problems away in the bar just like every other day. I miss how he used to be. I miss having a family, having someone to care for you. Now all I had was myself and let's be real, do I really have myself either?

I slowly walk up to my bedroom and put down my schoolbag. I lean against the wall and think about what my life could have been like if everything didn't go wrong. I could have made it to the Olympics for my swimming. I could have gone to university. I could have had a perfect family or actually just a family in general. I could have been normal. Not anymore, I guess that has all gone down the drain. Now my dreams have been replaced with nightmares and my sleeping escape has turned against me and has turned into sleepless nights. I smile sadly at the thoughts before making my way downstairs to tidy up before Dad gets back, I didn't want to make him angrier than he always is.

My smile fades as I see the mess downstairs. Beer cans and bottles everywhere. Old take-out containers. Broken plates that haven't been swept up. The stench was horrible. The overpowering smell of alcohol and body odour fought to be the strongest scents. I took a deep breath before putting my headphones in and music blasting to drown out the thoughts that would otherwise haunt me. It took me about three hours and two garbage trips to finish cleaning the house and by the end my whole body hurt. I was so tired but I knew that if I slept who knows what would haunt my nightmare.