gabenath One-shots

hurt

⚠️WARNING!⚠️

The story has suicide thoughts, self harm, domestic violence, harsh languages and bit of blood. If any of these triggers you, don't read this!

This is again at Nathalie's pov
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heartless that is the word what runs around my head. Sanceur- my surname, I've heard many jokes and nicknames about it. It's something what people raises while the arguments. I really hope I would be that... I hope that I didn't feel anything, but still my heart has been broken too many times. I can't stand with it anymore. I just can't. Not after the heart breaker was Gabriel Agreste... My desperate love one.

Tears are falling on my cheeks while I open the shower. The warmth of the water changes from icy to hot. It burns my bare skin when I'm standing under it. I don't care about it or anything else anymore... It just feels so empty inside of me.

The gaze of my eyes move to my arms. With the wet skin, I can see all of the bruises and cuts even better. It's like an addiction, hurting myself, in way or an another... First it was a call for help, but when nobody answered I turned it as an escape...

I sit down and hug my legs, with covering the front of my torso. While leaning my back against the wall, I put my hands at my hair. I can't keep it inside, so I scream. I scream unless I don't have any oxygen inside my lungs anymore, unless my throat hurts.

I know it, nobody could hear me or feel my pain. Actually there is one person who could, but he does not care about me. Not at all.

"It's okay, sir. Next time you can make it!" "Why you're always defying my orders, Nathalie?" He looked at me so angrily. I bit my tongue, "I thought it was the best for Adrien, I wanted to help you and-"

"Be quiet! I don't want to hear it! You did this all for NOTHING!" Fear ran through my body... yeah, He was really angry, but what did I really do? "I'm sorry sir..." he continued of yelling at how we always lost and how he couldn't make it anymore. How I technically ruined everything and...

I couldn't listen anymore so I pulled my hands on my ears, "please stop..." I sobbed. -I don't want to cry... I just can't, not front of him-. "DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO ME NATHALIE!? I'm talking to you!"

Then it happened... He did something that broke the bridges. I felt the hit against my face... Gabriel had punched me at the face. My glasses were about to fall when I backed up, against the wall. I couldn't control it anymore so I let tears fall on my cheeks. Flashbacks about my step father at punching me and my mother. How he always told me that 'if I didn't listen he would kill me'.

I knew that I couldn't keep my self control so long, so I faked smile and faced his scared face. I didn't know had he realised what he had done, but it didn't matter. Before he said anything, I opened my mouth, "I understand, sir..." I said as strongly as I could, "if you don't mind, I'll go now..."

Thoughts about that breaks me again "WHAT ABOUT ME!" I cried through my hand, what I has put on my mouth, "WHY DOESN'T HE CARE... I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR HIM AND IT KILLS ME AND... NO- NOBODY CARES!"

My whole body is shaking and for few seconds it feels like I couldn't breath. I gasp for my breath, when it turns steady, I stand up.

I put some towel and my glasses on and look myself at mirror. The person who looks back at me isn't the one I used to know. Pale skin, bad looking bruise under the right eye, bloodshot eyes, all hope has shattered away... That person isn't the one I wanted to look.

I close my eyes and hit the mirror with my hand. The pain while the glass shatters makes me wince in pain. The red liquid starts to fall from my knuckles. After few seconds the sink of my toilet is colored because of my blood.

I stop my snobb wrap toilet paper around the hurted hand.
***

I walk to the Agreste's mansion, because of Adrien's ask. Even when I don't want to see Gabriel, I want to help his son. Looking the house makes the pain grow on my chest. Last time I was here, we had the fight and.... Don't think about it! Keep your coolness!

"Adrien I'm here," I say calmly, while knocking his door. Footsteps comes closer and young boy opens the door. His expression is full of worry when he looks at my face. Without even saying a word he puts his arms around my torso and hugs me.

"Is this the reason why you haven't been there for a few days..." he asks, voise shaking. I don't know should I lie to him. Would the truth be too much? "Adrien I'm fine," well that's lie too, but different. It's lie that won't hurt anyone, but me.

"Answer my question Nathalie... Please," he raises his look at my face. I can see the sadness inside his green eyes, while he is begging the answer.

I don't have time to answer, "I hurted her... That's why she haven't been there". It's Gabriel. I know he is standing right behind me. All the emotions comes back like the wave. Well what were I expecting? He lives here.

Adrien lets go from my waist and looks at his father. I can see the disappointment, rage, fear and sorrow in his face. "How could you!?" He yells.

I don't want to ruin their relationship even more. It's my fault if Adrien hates his father. I don't want to this little guy to get hurted because of my failiness. "Adrien it's okay. I'm fine now..." I take a deep breath, "can I talk to him for a little time?" I ask sweetly, "alone?"

He doesn't want to let me to, I'm sure about it. But still Adrien does quick nodd and comes back to his room, "I'll be there," he says before closing the door.

After he has gone, I slowly turn to Gabriel. "Good afternoon Mr. Agreste," I say quietly. His hand moves slowly at his mouth. "Did I..?" He looks at my eye, "did I do this to you?" He splutters.

"Yes". I'm not sure did I just see the pain at his face. He gasps his breath when his gaze falls on my wrists. Slowly I tried to move them behind my back. It was useless, he had seen the bandage. I curse that I didn't put on my work outfit. He steps closer and carefully moves my sleeves up.

I don't know why I didn't make him to stop. "No..." That's the only word he says before I see the tears on his eyes. I haven't ever seen him cry, not even when Emilie fell on comatose. "Why Nathalie..?" he held my hands lightly and looked at me with teary eyes.

"It felt right. It can sail me away for a while and makes me feel better... Until the pain comes back, stronger than it was before. It makes me want to more..." I haven't realised that I'm crying too, "I want to forget everything. I can't carry it anymore... I'm just a human, Gabriel. Human that feels love and all the pain too. People are just too blind to see it...."

It feels strange to tell someone how I'm feeling. "Love? What do you mean?" Confused voice...

"I LOVE YOU BLOODY HELL! YOU AND ADRIEN ARE LIKE FAMILY I NEVER HAD!!" After crying out, I fell on my knees. Gabriel kneels too. I'm waiting for the next hit, but it didn't happen. For my surprise he puts his lips against mine.

His expression is so broken, when we pull apart, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to ruin anything..." short silene "I'm sorry to make you feel at that way," he closes his eyes and tear rolls down, "I love you too, my dearest Nathalie..." "And so do I..." Adrien has opened the door again, and he is standing behind us. I don't know do they really mean those words, but I want to believe them. For once, I want to feel better, I want to feel loved, I want to be part of some family. Carefully I pull Adrien down with us and hug both of them.