𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 [Discontinued]

is it really?

-Jade-

At this point I don't know what this man is doing to me, it's like his words put some kind of spell on me. Usually, I feel uncomfort when I am too deep into the ocean, but with him, it's like everyone and everything is gone.

It's like an intuition in my body that confides, me he wouldn't let any harm happen to me, he wouldn't let me down everyone but not him.

if I am gonna be honest after the conversation on the breakfast table about my father and my nonexistent love life I thought this day was over for me but no I was wrong.
Jay managed to make the best out of it.
After about fifteen minutes of playing around in the clean Italian ocean, my body started to freeze so I don't hesitate long and got out, back on our beach bed to warm up.

Jay follows me.

we both lay down on the beach bed again, his head in my lap and his hand entwined with mine, I use my free hand and brush over his wet curly brown hair.

I never noticed how fluffy and curly his hair is but I love it like that

we stay at the beach for the rest of the day forgetting about everything that was happening around us for example, the couple a few meters away fighting who loves who more, such a cliché

or the family in front of us discussing their plans for the vacation. Everything just disappears around us it is peaceful just me and him.
even if it is just for a few hours, He makes me forget it all.
It's almost as if he sparks something inside me a spark of hope,

a hope that maybe everyone will get their happy end after all.

I was shocked by this thought of mine, I always have been that girl that never needed a man, or more I was convinced by the thought I didn't need one.

love can be the most beautiful thing but is it worth the risk it brings?

that's the question I ask myself ever since.

After seeing my Mum getting disappointed like this by love.
I chose my studies, my future carrier, and practically everything I can find to run from this question, usually, I succeed but liams words today... made me think.

''if your mum could move on why can't you''

he was right no question, I mean look at my mum she is the happiest she has ever been, James brings out a side of her that was well hidden for all the years, he managed to bring my mother to open up.

so why can't I?

my mum could move on from years of toxic and abusive love, why am I Failing at overcoming my fear of getting hurt as bad my dad did hurt Me.

Ironic isn't it? your dad is supposed to be the man on which shoulder you would cry yourself out after a heartbreak, not the one to cause it.

It's not like I hate everything that has to do with love, I always pretend I do but deep inside me I am a hopeless romantic.
I love watching these cheesy romance movies or reading these completely overhyped love novels.

I just can not bring myself to let this happen to me.

I am broken.

But Jay... this stubborn 6ft high man with french roots makes me question if I am doing the right thing by keeping up the promise I made myself all these years ago.

''Jade ?'' I hear the familiar voice in a muffed tone

''Oh yes sorry I zoned out'' I say coming back from my invisible bubble full of thoughts.

''Jay thank you for'' I tried to finish my sentence but jay cuts me off by cupping my face in his big hands and pulling me in for a kiss.

''Jade please never thank me, do everything but don't thank me, you do this enough by allowing me to spend time with you, by letting me so close to you. and trust me I appreciate it more than ill ever show especially when I know how hard it had to be for you to open up to me'' he says with a light gloomy undertone.

I just nod as his answer took my ability to speak, adding to that I felt my stomach making whole flips inside me.

He seriously gave me so much reassurance without even trying don't get me started about how comfortable and safe I felt around him. we enjoyed the now a bit less crowded beach as it was around 1 pm already some people left for dinner and some went home because they forgot how important sunscreen is and were completely burnt after a few hours.

We laid there for some time enjoying the beautiful clear sky above us, getting to know each other better time passed by and we had to slowly head back to the resort.

we packed our stuff up and started to walk home at a steady pace, of course, this stubborn idiot didn't let me carry anything.

we make our way first through the lobby then up the long stairs to our room, just as I wanted to unlock the door and enter I hear everyone jumping out of every corner of our  big room shouting

''HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADE''

I stand there with my jaw dropped. I double-check the smartwatch on my wrist to check if it's my birthday.

It was. I got so carried away by the great time I had with jay on the beach I forgot about my birthday.

Well done Jade.

In my defense my birthday never has been really of the matter for me, I always preferred not to celebrate.

I look to the side and my surprise there stands an already grinning at me jay lip-syncing a happy birthday towards me.

He knew about all of this.