𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 [Discontinued]

𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 (TW mention of Abuse)

I poke around on my plate, I lost my appetite. I finish my fruits and stand up, bringing my plate away to wash off.

I wave to everyone that's still sitting around the table and walk upstairs to my room when I feel warm tears running down my cheeks.

I always thought I am over my dad, and all the pain and trauma he left behind in my heart and mind. but still, here I am, running away so no one sees this weak side of me, this broken little girl I still somewhere am under my cover.

I knock on my mum's and James's door to check up on them but no response.

Probably still asleep. so the only Idea that shoots in my mind is to go to the beach and just relax, just to stop thinking.

I snatch some towels and a sun lotion in a hurry, I am scared that jay might see me see in my state now, because I know if he came in right now, looking down at me with his puppy eyes I would simply break down in tears.

I head down the stairs through the exit across the foyer, I greet the waiter from the night before, but he just looks away immediately when he sees me. Ow, someone's pride is hurt I see.

I feel the warmth hitting my face and the smell of young dahlias mixed up with some other flowers entering my nostrils, honestly I love Italy so much. it's beyond beautiful

I sit down on the only free beach bed, it has a clear view of the ocean, I might not be the biggest swimmer but I love the beach and ocean so much. I feel all the negativity leave my body as soon as I plug in my air pods and hear my favorite songs start playing. I massage the sunscreen into my body.

I lay down in my baby blue bikini, after a while I lose the thread to reality, it's just me, the warm summer ocean breeze, and my music.

-Jay-

I notice the pain in Jade's eyes when she speaks about her father and how she is anxious to love because of her parent's failed marriage. It's weird seeing her so vulnerable.

I usually don't care about people who aren't family, But she has something inside her, that intrigues me so much.

I am convinced that it arent just her perfect looks, or her gorgeous smile that could light up the whole room, neither her blue as the ocean eyes, that I get lost in every time I look into it.

I never was loved, I mean yes my mum and dad always loved me I am their son, and now after I learned about Jade's story I cherish it more than ever.

However, I mean that love of your life kind of love, I never had a girlfriend I decided not to.

It just felt wrong to force my lifestyle upon someone and the danger it brings with it. and not like I had much time between all the practice with my father or all the different duties I had to take over in the mafia through the years.

I always went the easy way, I hooked up with a girl, I and her had our fun and that was it.

no boundaries, no obligations, nothing just a meaningless fling.

But it's different with Jade, I want to have her close to me all the time, protect her and make sure she's fine. Her touch is like a highly addictive narcotic to me, I feel my damn body yearning for it. Even now I am sitting at a table with all my family around me, still, the only thing on my mind is her.

My eyes observe her when she leaves the Cantine, I feel the need to run after her but she probably needs some time on her own now. The coming after 15 minutes are the hardest minutes I have had for a long time. After my dad is finally done with his talk about the most beautiful Italian sights and everything around them, I rise and speed into my and Jade's room aiming to catch her there. with no success, guilt and worry spread inside me.