𝐿𝑂𝑉𝐸 𝐶𝑌𝐶𝐿𝐸 ♡

49

"I'm triggered...I am not okay"
-Jhene Aiko✨.

||Los Angeles, California📍||
Legend Ariyah Jones✨.

We walked out of the church where my moms funeral took place. I stayed silent holding Kemani's hand while everyone else talked amongst one another

"You straight?" Kemani looked at me and I nodded

"Use your mouth Legend"

"Don't call me that" I spoke quickly and frowned at him

"My fault" He said and I rolled my eyes looking away

I felt him squeeze my hand but ignored it seeing people walking up to us

"You okay baby?" One of my aunties came up to me and I ain't say nun

She pulled me into a hug but I didn't hug her back. I sat there wondering why she's touching and talking to me in the first place

"And call me if you need anything you know I-" I cut her off by walking away going where my dad and friends were with Kemani not to far behind me

"Stop doing yo family like that" My dad said to me

"They getting on my nerves, What are they touching me for" I crossed my arms and he shook his head

"Mulan be quiet" Jayda patted her back while Mulan layed on her shoulder crying

"She just don't like you, give her to me. Come on moo" I held my arms out and grabbed her. I let her lay on my shoulder and she calmed down a little

"There it go" Trell pointed to the church doors

I watched as they carried my mothers casket from out of the church and to the grass where the six foot hole was ready for her to be put into. My eyes started to get glossy looking at it as I patted moo's back rocking her

"Hmm" Kemani grabbed her out my arms when he noticed. I looked at my dad who's face held that natural mug

"Tighten up Legend" He said sternly and I started blinking fast so the tears will go away. I didn't want to cry in front of all these people anyway

"Nip let her cry, She ain't like you bruh" Kemani mugged him and my dad ignored him

"Legend. You wanna come stand by me sweetie" My therapist Vanessa said grabbing my hand bringing me with her. She was closer to the burial site

Throughout the past two weeks I've been talking to her again. After the whole situation I knew I needed to get help so I called her and she's been here helping me every since

"Don't listen to him. You're allowed to express how you feel especially at a time like this, It's apart of your mental growth. Remember we talked about that?" She placed her hand on my shoulder

"Mmhm"

"However you feeling on the inside, Let it out. It's okay" She spoke softly

I listened to what she said but still held my tears in because I didn't want anybody to see my cry. Although what she's saying is true I'll still felt weak on the inside if I cried