the one || bo burnham x reader

one

i crumpled another piece of paper, throwing it on the floor. i lay my head in my hands releasing an annoyed grunt as i look at the mess of ideas scattered across my desk. tonight, i had a comedy show at the local coffee shop downtown. my friend, taylor works there and after telling her manager about my whole comedy deal, they decided to let me perform tonight.

looking down at my five full pages of skits and routines i thought i was set. it was only a twenty minute show. looking at my alarm clock it was already 7:30 pm, my show starts at eight o'clock. fuck.

grabbing my papers and car keys i frantically ran out the door of my apartment. did i get weird looks? fuck yeah. do i care? hell yeah, but i'm gonna lie to myself and say hell no.

i opted to take the stairs as i only lived on the second floor of the complex. i pressed the unlock button and got in the car. it was hot and the air was thick from sitting in the sun all day, i didn't really mind, however. at least right now, i had places to be.

after a ten minute drive i practically jumped out of the car. i only had fifteen minutes of rehearsal time. entering through the back door, taylor let me in greeting me with a hug and a "you're going to do amazing! you have quite the crowd out there!"

i didn't know if the sentiment made me feel better or worse. i peaked out at the crowd from the side wings of the stage. taylor was right, there's about 50 people here to see me. a few rows of people lining the back as well. the house was packed.

"oh my god, taylor, this is amazing!" i said squealing with joy.

"i know," her eyes lit up as she read the clock behind me, "you're on now! let me go introduce you!" she walked out of the stage wing i was looking out of earlier. the house lights went dark as i heard her introduce me to the crowd.

"...ladies, gents, and everyone in between. i present to you, my best friend who is hysterically talented, y/n l/n." taylor exited the stage and the curtains were pulled to the sides revealing me in all my hectic glory. the crowd cheered as i approached the microphone.

"okay guys, this is vital information." i paused until i had their attention and the room was quiet. "how many of you are actively single?" about a quarter of the crowd applauded but i cut them off before they could ever finish. "wowww." pausing once more before i continued "that's sad, that's really sad. believe me! i know first hand!" the crowd erupted with laughter, it was the best feeling in the world.

"segways are weird, right?" i asked the crowd getting ready to move onto the next subject.

"so are you!" a guy from the front yelled.

i kneeled down to look him in the eye "why are you being such a dick when you barely have balls yourself?" the audience laughed at my insult. "your girlfriend probably needs a microscope to see if it's in yet. at least that would be the case if you were good enough to have one." at this point the audience lost it. even i was struggling to keep it in.

the rest of the show flew by, before i knew it the audience was cheering. more than cheering, actually, it was a standing ovation. i bowed a few times waving as i exited the stage slightly sweaty from the lights.

taylor ran up to me, going in for a hug but stopping once she saw the sweat. "oh my god! y/n! you were amazing out there!" she squealed.

"thanks! it was absolutely incredible! i'm gonna go talk to some people outside!" i said running out and jumping off the stage.

i ended up in front of a group of guys. the guy in the center spoke, "y/n, you were absolutely incredible! my friend told me about your work since he's seen you performing in bars around town and he was right! you're hysterical!"

i think my heart skipped a beat, maybe even two. i recognized that voice. it was bo burnham. bo burnham of all people is at my comedy show.

"thank you so much! i really appreciate that! i love your work as well!" i said, bo outstretched his hand for me to shake which i gladly returned!

"you know, i'm friends with this one guy who has a comedy club. i'm set to perform there next week and if you're intrested i'd love to get you a spot at the show!" bo said pulling out his phone "here, let's swap numbers and i'll stay in touch!" he said handing me his phone. i typed my number in and labeled it with my name. i then pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him, he punched his number in and handed it back to me.

"anyways, i have to get going! i'll text you later, y/n!" he said walking out the door.

i ran to taylor who was cleaning up in the back of the coffee shop.

"taylor, oh my god. you will not believe what just happened." i squealed, my palms were sweating from excitment and overall nerves.

"i know! i saw the whole thing. i think he likes youuuuu." she said excitedly.

"taylor, he does not." i say blushing.

"i can't believe you are oblivious to the fact that the tall lanky comedian is head over heels for you." she said

"i can assure you that the tall lanky comedian is not head over heels for me." i laughed at the thought of robert pickering burnham liking me. it would never happen.