Wouldn't Change A Thing

Becca

I planned a far too romantic night starting with a dinner, then a walk down the pier to the beach where I plan to tell her everything and ask her to run away with me. This is either gunna go one of two ways. Either shes relieved I know, and hope on my noble steed and we ride off into the sunset. Or she is so pissed I've known and do the job I do, considers me one of the dickheads that hurt her and never wants to see me again. So I feel like the effort was necessary.

I checked myself out in the mirror in my black slacks, dress shoes and black button up. Jesus, I looked like a server at olive garden. I shook my head of the pointless thoughts. I took a deep breath holding my hands out trying to shake off the nerves. I looked at the clock seeing it's almost time to leave. I go to the kitchen hitting the safety lock under my table, letting the glock fall into my hand. I went to the sugar pot on the counter and pulled out a standard clip and slip the gun together and into my waistline. I have a bad feeling about being somewhere so secluded with Stacie, so it's a just in case.

I went to my jeep and when I got in I slipped the gun out of my pant line and into the glove box and make my way to Stacies. When I pulled up to her house, shes already standing on the porch waiting for me. So I got out to walk her back. When I reached her I pulled her to me by her hips hugging her for a minute. I cant help the way I feel when shes against me. Shes fucking dangerous for me. I pulled her away looking over her body.

"Damn, just when you think you've seen it all. You look fantastic babe." I told her kissing her on the cheek. When I leaned into her I could feel her turn her head away from me a little more than necessary. When I pull back I look at her confused but she looked at the ground. When she looked back up she just asks "can we go?"

I smiled back to her nodding with a smile and stepped out of her way to get to the jeep. That was strange. We got in the car and drove to the restaurant but Stacie isnt as social and alive as she normally is. I think somethings wrong with her. We got there and we're finally seated before I took her hand.

"Are you alright Stac? Something seems a little off with you." I told her. Before she replied she took her hand from mine and spread her napkin over her lap but never took my hand again.
She smiled at me and nodded her head.

"I'm okay Bec." She assured me. I slowly nodded back at her to show I believed her but theres something wrong. Shes not the girl I know and I want to make her feel better but I dont want to hurt her to do it. If she doesnt wanna talk yet, so be it.

"Whatever you say babe, but I'm here. Let's just enjoy our night together." I smiled to her taking her hand again. She just nodded to me and squeezed my fingers for a little longer than just to comfort me.

Dinner goes by fairly quickly and quietly. When were done, I pay the check and tip our server before going to meet Stacie by the door. I grabbed her hand and lead her outside. She pulled in the direction of the jeep but I pulled her hand in the opposite direction towards the pier.

"The nights not over babe." I told her.

"Oh yippee." She said with no excitement. I stepped in front of her stopping her just before the pier.

"No. As long as we are on this pier, you are on a date with me. No other thought but enjoying the time we have on hand together. No before no after until we leave this pier. And then I'm going to pry it out of you." I told her. She looked at me for a second then at the ground for another minute. When she finally lifted her head she responds.

"Okay. I think I can do that for you."

"Thank you baby. I promise you won't regret it." I told her leaning on to peck her lips. She leaned back to me but much slower and with so much more emotion. I'm so confused on her right now. I saw her not 12 hours ago and she was fine. Better than fine, she was almost mine. And now it's like shes a whole different person.

We walked down the pier hand in hand stopping every now and then to play a game or watch the ducks. We played the water gun races, we tossed some rings, I almost gave her a stroke from laughing so hard when I punched the pressure bag. By the time we got to the end of the pier a couple hours had past and we unconciously made our way to the beach.

As we walk along we talk about everyday stuff. Which brands are better, how summer is better than winter and how her coworker slipped and landed in a customer's lap. We got maybe half a mile down the beach when I pulled her to a stop facing me.

"Are you ready to talk about it yet?" I asked her swinging our hands clasped together. I saw her eyebrow crinkle as she looked to the ground. She let out a heavy sigh and looked back up to me.

"Actually, yes I am." She said.

"What is it? It's obviously serious, I've never seen you so dead before." I told her.

"What do you mean?" She asked like there wasnt an obvious difference in the way shes acting.

"Babe, you're lifeless right now. You're telling me everything you've said and done tonight is normal for you?" I asked her with a duh tone.

"I never said that. But I didnt think I was quite dead yet. It's just kind of a harsh reference." She said making me look at her weird. Why the fuck did she say that.

"See? Right there. Why the fuck would you say that? What's going on?" I asked her. She pulled her hands from mine and crossed her arms over her chest and stepped back. Looking down, she shakes her head.

"Becca, I cant do this with you." She said bluntly. Damn, not even gunna beat around the bush huh?

"Woah what? What the hell are you talking about?" I asked holding my hands up to her. I needed to hear that again to make sure my minds not actually bat shit crazy.

"I cant be with you. I know it sucks, but I just cant do this. I dont know what ever possessed me to try." She said trying to walk past me to head back to the pier. I grabbed her elbow and spun her around again.

"No. No Stacie. Give me a fucking reason. I'm not letting you do this." I said desperately.

"Why is it so hard to believe I just dont want you?" She said trying to keep a straight face but I can see the crease in her forehead deepen.

"Then tell me that. Look me in my fucking eyes and tell me you just dont want me." I pushed her making her flex and unflex her clenched fists. She finally bent over with her hands on her knees letting a sob out.

She stood up again and wiped her tears looking at me.
"Becca, I dont know a thing about you. And you damn sure dont know a thing about me. I dont know how we managed to fall in love with each other when we have no idea who the other person is. I'm broken because I dont know you Becca, but I know better than to let you love me because you dont know who youre loving." She said to me. I do love you Becca, right or wrong, I just cant be with you. I'm sorry." She finished and turned around and walked towards the pier. I finally cleared my mind after the whirl of thoughts that were just thrown at me. Well, I guess it's my turn. I looked back up to see her form get a little smaller.

"Stacie please." I called out to her.

"Baby please dont leave me!" I shouted again. She getting just far enough away from me to not be able to hear me at all. I have one more try before she is gone for good. With the most volume and voice I could muster, I wrapped my hands around my mouth and took a deep breath.

"DOVE!" I screamed at her making her  stop where she was mid stride.  She didnt turn around, just stood there frozen for a while so I decided to close the distance and took off running in her direction. When I got close enough she finally turned around with a straight completely neutral face. I walked up to her and she looks at me in silence with a suspicious look.