Foreign Lands (BC X HxH)

17 Sealed away

He felt tears start to roll down his cheeks again. Killua rested his face in his hands, unable to keep the tears back. "I-I can't stop worrying. It's dangerous where I come from. There's so much-t-that could go wrong. And I wouldn't be able to...Damn it" I just can't clear him from my head. Every time I think I have, he comes back. It wouldn't have been such an issue if it wasn't for the fact that he had no idea how far away he was, or if he'd ever be able to get back home. It's been almost a month, I haven't gone this long without seeing him since he came into my life. There was a small light, then he felt a hand on his back. "Hey" Nero said softly. Killua wiped his eyes and looked up, although more tears kept streaming down his face. Nero seemed to be trying to give him a reassuring smile. "I'm sure he'll be fine. The way you talk about him, he sounds strong. And he has many strong friends as well"

Darker thoughts started to swirl around his head. "But what if he doesn't like me anymore? What if I screw up so bad h-he...he doesn't forgive me" Killua thought to the mission ahead. What if he snapped? How would Gon see him then? Rationally he knew he'd done much worse than that, but there was nothing rational about his anxiety. He'd always had these thoughts, that he'd fuck something up so bad it couldn't be fixed. That Gon would finally realize how bad of a person he was and leave. That he would turn his back to Killua, and walk away. But he couldn't stop himself from hoping. Hoping that Gon would still like him, hoping that he still wanted to be his friend. But that only made it more painful when he imagined the absolute worst that could happen. Part of him wished he could just give up on it, so he could stop worrying and move on. But most of him wanted to stay. Wanted to hang on to that small thread of hope, no matter how small or far away it got.

"You said he stayed with you even when you did bad things, why would that change?" Nero said softly. Killua was practically sobbing by now, he couldn't stop his fears from spilling out. "There's so much I don't tell him, so much he hasn't seen. I've done bad things, horrible things to people. How would he still like me if he knew all the fucked up things I've done? Killing's one thing b-but... downright torture? And mutilation? Sure he's seen me rip someone's heart out but that's only a small portion of the messed up shit I've done." Killua's palms started to bleed a little from how hard he was digging his nails in. "I-I...I can't lose him. I wouldn't b-be able to...to..." He squeezed his eyes shut. I don't know if I'd be able to keep going on anymore. He felt Nero pull him closer, leaning him into her side. The hole in his chest only grew at the slight affection, it just reminded him of all the times Gon had comforted him when he was upset.

He saw a light shine behind his eyelids, so he hesitantly opened his eyes to see Nero's grimoire floating next to them. A new page was writing itself, it was kind of satisfying to watch. What's... Then she spoke. "Sealing Magic, Veil Of The Ethereal" She said, placing a hand on his head. The hand glowed, and his eyes widened as he felt a warm feeling rush though his body. I-what- Killua's muscles relaxed, his nails stopped digging into his palms as well as Nero smoothed them out. "Sealing Magic, Closed Sorrow" He watched in fascination as the blood was sucked back into the skin, then the wound smoothed over and closed. Killua was lost for words for a few seconds. I feel...fine. Sure I still miss him, but it's not so overbearing anymore. "W-What did you just do?" He asked, glancing sideways and up at her face. Nero's expression was hard to read, her eyes were slanted and gave off a hostile look but her face and actions didn't show anger.

"I unlocked a new spell, I didn't even know it was possible" She said softly. Killua blinked. "Didn't know what was possible?" He murmured. Nero placed a hand on her grimoire. "To seal emotions" It clicked in his brain. She can use sealing magic. That locks and unlocks things right? She can seal herself into the form of a bird as well. Healing too, that's why my palms are smooth right now. That's why I don't feel as sad...I... Killua wasn't one to thank people, or to give affection, but he leaned his head on Nero's shoulder. "Thank you" He murmured, and she sighed. "Just when you think you've seen the worst humans can become...you find something worse" He chuckled darkly. "Try massacring an entire clan of people just because their eyes are pretty and fetch a great price on the black market." He scowled. "Kurapika's justified in killing the phantom troupe off, snowflake's chance in hell you'd ever get me to think otherwise"

Nero's eyes widened slightly. "This is a true story?" He growled. "Kurapika was the only survivor, at 12." He wasn't sure what was worse. Having your entire clan murdered for their eyes, or being tortured your entire life. He knew how loneliness could feel, a deep empty chasm that threatened to pull you under. He still wondered how Kurapika could retain his sanity after living with that pain for years. He looked up at the moon, it was high in the sky and a beautiful crescent. He found that he didn't really feel sad. Or mad, or disgusted. He just felt...content. Killua sighed, then lay down in his hammock. He had bought it earlier today, it was made of a netlike material and was just big enough to made him comfortable. "G'night Nero" He mumbled, closing his eyes. There was a shimmer of light again, then a flutter of wings. "Night" Nero squawked, then flew off. I'm ready for that mission tomorrow.

1037 words

To be continued...

By the way, this 'new spell' stuff is not cannon. I just thought I'd point that out -3-