Foreign Lands (BC X HxH)

33 Explanation

He, Vanessa, Asta, and Gon were standing in front of Captain Yami and Finral. "What is it" Yami said tiredly. Killua had put on his concealer and his front so nobody could tell, but Gon was the one who spoke. "We need to go see the queen of witches" Finral frowned slightly. "Why?" He rolled his eyes. "Cursed spikes, that's why" Yami shook his head. "Your healed now, plus it's been over a week and you obviously aren't in any pain" Gon grabbed Killua's arm. "He can't sleep" Vanessa said. Finral paused. "It might just be insomnia-" Gon interrupted him. "He hasn't been able to sleep for an entire week" There was faint alarm in Captain Yami's eyes, Finral looked kind of worried. "Then make him sleep" Yami said. Killua gritted his teeth. "it's not that I can't fall asleep. I can't stay asleep." Asta nodded. "He can only sleep for 30 minutes without waking up" They left out the nightmare part for now, it wasn't necessary yet.

Captain Yami sighed. "Then sleep in 30 minute intervals, what the hell else do you want me to say? It's difficult getting an audience with the witch queen" Killua's face twitched, Finral definitely noticed it but Yami didn't seem to see. He gripped slightly harder on Gon's jacket and he growled. "He's tried that! But...Killua can I tell them?" He took a deep breath, Killua hated seeming weak but there was no way around it. He turned and wrapped an arm around Gon, then shoved his face into his shoulder. Gon took that as a yes and put his hand on Killua's back. "He's having these...nightmares. Memories of the worst moments in his life as well as the thing he fears the most." By Finral's posture he was clearly alarmed. "I-I've heard you guys talk about the kind of horrifying stuff that goes on over there. Your telling me...he's seeing the worst of that? Every time he closes his eyes?"

Killua's breath started to get uneven and suddenly the images started flashing again. W-Wait, it's not supposed to happen when I'm awake! Gon's arms tightened around him and he couldn't help the tears that rolled down his cheeks. D-Damn it, I'm scared. He held up a trembling finger, he didn't trust them enough yet. 'Gon, I'm scared. I keep seeing it. Sometimes I see it when I'm awake' Gon's other arm wrapped around him and closed the finger, showing that he'd seen it. "Please, you have to." He gritted his teeth, then put his front up. Killua shoved Gon off him and turned with a straight face, both Yami and Finral seemed surprised that he looked completely composed when a moment ago he'd been shivering and on the verge of tears.

"Listen up assholes. Do you know what happens when you get sleep deprived?" Finral was about to speak but he spoke right over him. "I can stay awake for three days without any side effects because of training, but an entire week?" He scowled. "I can't focus, my strength's weakening, it's harder to sense things, my violent side is harder to control, my entire body aches, sometimes my body doesn't even respond for a few seconds." He pointed out, loathing admitting his weaknesses but they needed to understand. "Do you know how dangerous that is? I got fucking stabbed by a teenager with a spear on that mission yesterday! Sure it wasn't too bad but I can't say the same if I lose focus around someone truly dangerous in this state" he snapped. Killua's fists clenched, he had the urge to... Why the fuck do I feel like killing something? He turned abruptly, shoving past Gon and heading for the door. "I need to fucking hit something before I stab a person." He yelled over his shoulder as he exited the room.

Noelle jumped with wide eyes as he walked by. "I-I'm sorry what?" He shoved her out of the way as well. "I said move or I'll stab you" He snarled. She cleared off pretty quick, and he took the nearest exit. Said exit was a window on the 3rd story. He heard a fluttering sound and looked up to see Nero, who had a worried expression. "Killua?" He felt tears run down his cheeks and Nero flapped in alarm as she landed on his shoulder. "Fuck" he muttered, then started running. His claws sharpened and he slashed into a tree, which slid sideways and fell with a thump. "Killua, what happened?" He laughed bitterly. "I can't fucking sleep. I've been awake for an entire week and I can't control my violent urges. I literally just had to walk out of a room because I felt the urge to kill someone!" He cried, Killua was getting emotional as well. "I could try-"

"it won't work!" He snapped. "It's the fucking curse. w-whenever I close my eyes I see my w-worst memories a-and then my greatest fear" He whimpered, sitting down heavily on the felled tree and covering his face with his slightly trembling hands. "I-I've tried hiding it, did it for 6 fucking entire days." He half sobbed. "B-But Gon found out. The good thing is if he can just convince Yami to take me, I could go see some witch queen and get the curse dealt with. b-but who knows how fucking long that'll take? What if I snap? I nearly slit Gauche's throat a few days ago in front of 5 people" Nero turned back into a human and sat beside him, putting a hand on his back. "I'm sure if he knew your condition that he'd make you time" She murmured. He gritted his teeth. "Damn it, I hate when my weakness shows" He said, dropping his hands and hanging his head.

"But...I cried. I cried in front of Asta and Vanessa. Gon knocked me out an all three of them were there when I woke back up again" She let out a sigh. "I'm not that great at comforting...should I get Gon?" He bit his lip. "I...yes" He breathed for a few seconds. "Please" he mumbled. Nero's hand disappeared and she shifted back into bird form, then flew off. He waited for approximately 5 minutes, his head started to spin a little. N-No! I'm gonna- Then he was out.

Killua fell sideways, slumping on the fallen tree. Gon arrived no less than 30 seconds later with Nero flying behind him. "Fuck! He must've passed out or something" Gon said worriedly, sliding down on the branch beside Killua and pulling him into his lap. Nero fluttered down and shifted back into human form with a slight frown. "I know it's not my place but...what exactly does he see?" Gon bit his lip. Killua trusts her, he's already told her about his life so...maybe it would be better to have someone on the inside who knows? He gritted his teeth. "I...got into this fight" He started. "H-he killed one of my friends and countless other people but...he was so strong" Gon couldn't meet Nero's eyes. "So...I used forbidden magic" close enough to the truth. Nero stiffened. "I forced my body to grow, pretty much fast forwarding to give me the body of someone who had years and years of endless training. I forced myself to be...powerful enough to beat him"

"I don't see any sign of-" Gon shook his head. "Let me finish" He looked down at his hands. "He...wasn't human. There were a race of ants who ate beings and acquired the traits of what they ate" Nero put a hand to her mouth. "I...killed him. I smashed his skull with my fist. But...his ability was still in effect and he cut off my arm." He let out a shaky breath. That had been traumatizing for him as well, not just Killua. "Killua...saw the whole thing. After I passed out he was the one who carried me back on his shoulders" Gon felt a tear roll down his cheek. I'm sorry Killua. "Because I used a forbidden magic, I fell into a coma. It was so bad...the doctors couldn't do anything. t-they said....that I wouldn't ever wake back up" He gritted his teeth again, Nero had fallen completely silent. "Somehow...Killua found a way. He never told me what he did, but I can guess" Now that I know about Nanika. "I-I...I'd never seen him cry before" He said faintly.

"He can't even step foot in a hospital without having a panic attack" Gon's voice wobbled a little. Nero placed a hand on his back, he had to admit it helped a bit. "He said...something about his worst fear" Gon bit his lip. "I...well he's never told me himself but I can guess" no, I know it's true. "It's that...I die, and he couldn't be there to save me. Since he sees it in a nightmare I'm guessing his brother Illumi kills me in front of him and makes him watch it" He ran his fingers through Killua's hair, and closed his eyes. I'm sorry Killua, you have to wait. Captain Yami said it could be arranged, but it would take at least 24 hours. Just a little longer Killua, just a little longer.

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To be continued...