Inferno love| Mystical Love series#2

Chapter 24

Arden point of view

Last night dinner was not a complete total disaster for my family even when I had to leave earlier than expected to stay on my favourite place for a couple of hours to help me cleared my mind free of stress as it felt like it was really too soon to get married to a stranger while carrying the weight of this pressure on my shoulder so I soldier forward when heavy heart means heavy shoulders right, afterwards, I come back home to my grandparents house to get some more sleep not feeling good about my decision to be honest with you.

I am waking up in the morning feeling a little bit happier more than usual this week as I am trying not to think too much about it where I can make myself to be happy without feeling the need to get my bittersweet renesent out of the ways to only process so much more kindness by opening my hearts up to someone else who I know I can trust them.

"Gus, can you please open up the door to your room?"I asked urgently to my brother.

Knocking on the door of my twin brother Gus room waiting patiently for him to open it so I could spilled my guts out loud to him ranting around the fact that I do not think my heart is in it anymore after all I can try to move on to a new chapter of my life story where nothing else will ever be this bleak as this empty in my heart is crying out loud for someone else who love me for me.

Luck has never been on my side, not even if I am gracious and nice to others being horrible towards me in any way. It's just hurt like a remaining scar on my heart squeezing all the joy of my precious mind to once fill it up again with a darkness one could never break or shake.

"Alright, just please give me one more second and then I can go have a talk with you in the kitchen,"said my brother.

In the first place, I do not want to be a disappointment to my family members by letting them down at all to make us one big happy family soon turned into a argument one this can be seen as a sign of not living up to my dad standards do you know what flips this fudging stuff I have surely had enough of caring about what my dad thinks so if I am going to do this properly then I might as well do it on my terms to get everything out of my chest.

"You do think that maybe all those others were right about me all those years?" I asked questionably to my brother August.

The truth is that the pain will always consume us no matter what or who we are there is no escaping the sadness of the harsh reality to remind ourselves of we are all broken beyond repair that is one small tiny majored cracks could even let the floodgates become open as it soon is now gushing out of water.

"No, remember what people say about you is not a reflection on yourself"reminded August my brother.

Those thoughts are always in the back of my mind and nobody else can erase them from my head as it permanently stays there for eternity bleeding through all of my insecurities. I am working hard for months now on the end of years then it will never fade away my scars on my tattooed heart.

"I feel like I am a loveless person who burns everything that she has already touched"I uttered in sadness to my twin brother August.

A bitter, cold as well as heartless girl who is isolated anyone else who is trying to help solve her problems where lays a crown of thorns on my head  leaving a scaring effect on me nevertheless, I am beginning to feel numbness everywhere in my body like I am drowning in the deep depths of the sea whilst completely losing myself to the person who I have become.

"You are the most amazing twin sister anyone could had ever asked for because you are always pushing everyone else to their fullest potential, yet you do not apply it to yourself"said truthfully my twin brother August.

It would have been better if I shed a little tear when he says those kind thoughtful words to me even though I am not sure of anything else anymore because I am certainly not able to be fixed and everyone who I ever know will go away in the end and I will make them hurt.

"I cannot even blink or breath without being afraid of missing a key moment in my life as it goes so fast as the speed of light completely ignoring all the speeding limits"I vented to my twin brother Gus.

There is a someone knocking on the front door as soon as I twist the door nobs opens my blonde haired girl best friend placed ice cream in my hand then she politely waved to my family members in fact when she did proceed to take me out of my home in her way of trying to cheer me up on the other hand i agreed to start heading out now, only slipping back into my shoes henceforth we are going to have a positive
mindset in order for it to happen we are both going to completely not even acknowledge the fact that I am going to end up in a loveless marriage with the man who I love however I am full of broken thoughts in my mind alongside my empires of dirt.

"Your brother has been telling me that you aren't yourself every single day since you found out that the boy who shall not be named might have cheated on you", mentioned Devine.

Gus- my twin brother is bringing in reinforcements such as to get me be in a more merry mood to be honest I am ever so grateful for what everyone else has been trying to do for me in the last past couple of days in fact I just want to thank them for being there for me in my darkest days part of my life is not more important than having my family/ friends around me moreover, I am feeling truly lost with myself at the moment that rarely happens to someone like me.

"No, it is not just like that okay, but I tries to hurt myself in order to help me feel something again"I said truthfully to Devine.

My blonde haired girl confidant was giving me a look for me to show her my burns on my left arm as she pulled up sleeves while her eyes were widened when gasped at my burns as hers hands were covering her mouth being stunned at what she has already seen now also she is pulled me in a tight hug to make it all feel better until she started sobbing with full tears are gushing out of her eyes at the states of my arm.

"You have to stop destroying your own happiness for the others just to be happy as well because trust me, they want what is best for you on the inside of your heart including the outside too"explained sadly Devine.

We are both wiping our eyes after emotions talk about life to be crying over half an hour for wanting me to be steady even if I am emotionally tired being a little unsteady due to hitting rough bumps in the road all my entire time I feel ready to let someone else into my life before they will eventually start to show their true colours. I am already a piece of collateral damage anyway.

"You see, all I ever do is let everyone else down, so I distance myself from everyone else who I know"I suggested to Devine.

Our destination was in a place where we use to visit off the east coast of Altus creek when we were children taking in all the beautiful sights as Devi parents with my mum used to go there in years ago now, I think they are both passing the tradition down to us their children to experience every single amazing thing that they had already done back then hence we are going to be reliving it again.

"Listen, you have been my best friends since we were born okay? No matter what anyone else says okay? You are never going to let me down or be anything else that is classified as a disappointment to me because you are always the undefeatable Arden"lectured Devine.

The time whenever I am losing myself to feel like every other trapped wall is going to be closing in on me as I am wishing for an escape from reality itself also a friend to talk to Devi has always been my confidant in my life.

"Who needs to be married or to have a relationship to become happy when I have already gotten my best friend here for me right by my side?"I said honestly to Devine.

As soon as I get back home from my long walk to slide the keys in my grandparents house to open the door quietly so nobody else will hear me coming into the cottage house to bombard me with a bunch of questions linked to my whereabouts for the last four hours of my returning here back safely in one piece before I wake the others up.