Drapetomania |

2.

I received the book my best friend mentioned to me earlier in the phone call by his brother who came with his dad to like take us to the airport since we would couldn't possibly put all our bags and ourselves in one car,

On our way to the airport, I read it and couldn't help but smile and feel another lump forming, my uncle who was in the driver seat, kept advising all of us, he told my brother not go out no matter what, same goes for us, he would say not to care about what the others said to my brother even if he was called a coward, honestly those words were nothing compared to my brothers life and if anyone did they'd catch these hands,

after all the shit in the plane, on the plane my sister had to keep saying me to cover your face because the afghan people most not all I repeat most not all don't know what the flip privacy is, and take pictures without consent, I had my earphones and while the plane was taking off 'holiday' by seventeen played and i was convincing myself it's just a holiday, we reached Afghanistan and bruh the moment I stepped outta the plane I wanted to be waken up by my mom for school,

So two of my uncle's family lived in afghanistan, and my cousin picked us up with our family friend, he's related to my aunt's husband and I really hate that guy :')

Anyways I'm really grateful for my uncle's family, who rented a decent house for us to stay in, and like gave whatever they had that they don't use for us to use instead of buying new ones, because they believed we wouldn't stay there for long and we'd leave, not in a bad way of course, they were all hopeful for us to go somewhere safer and with a comfortable surrounding,

The house was a three floor building, we lived on the second floor, and the owner on third with another neighbor on the first, the moment I entered the house my limbs felt weak as I fell to the ground letting out my tears, every part of afghanistan said 'not safe' to me, first three months, I developed insomnia, I wouldn't adjust and I'd cry everyday, but things got a tad bit sad

My brother, we would not let him outside, don't get me wrong, it was for his own safety, this had happened alot, people think whoever has arrived from UAE or just outside Afghanistan are rich and stuff, one of the people we know went through the same, their son was kidnapped, they asked for a huge amount of money, and kept doing it, when they couldn't pay enough, their son was beaten up, fingers broken, miracle he survived, we wouldn't want the same for my brother, and my dad lost his job,

My sister got engaged and we had her engagement party at October it went well except for some family situations, I wish the best for her future, a day before her engagement my brother returned to UAE, saying he'll take his and out school diplomat's and tc forms, but stayed there for his own good, after turning 18, he started working, he'd make deliveries, and later he continued my dad's job, though he's still new to it all,

I think my sister and brother, buried their hopes of studying college and university and getting their dream job due to the situation, my sister wanted to become a psychologist, or a lawyer, my brother took commerce and wanted to do accounting, but now he's working at a young age not being able to complete what he worked hard for man I feel sad for them

Oh wait lemme mention this, so when my sister took humanities, my aunt the one I mentioned earlier she actually had the audacity to make fun of my sister, just because we're afghans and we cannot do it, karma's a bitch right? Her own daughter chose humanities too, I mean I don't hate her she's nice but every human got their devil, and as for me I hold grudges <3

Anyways, yea we got many family problems, which I won't mention her because it's dramatic af, maybe I will if I publish a real book one day,

So far in afghanistan, everyday would pass, with guns being shot, explosions in afghanistan, and of course death would happen alot, and let's be real no matter how much someone is a military or action freak who wouldn't be terrified and traumatized, unless your trying to get attention and reply saying "not me" or "your just sensitive or dramatic" or "I wish I was there instead" while there's people wanting to die just because they get yelled at by their parents I'm here wanting to live just one more day, like I get it everyone is different, everyone has been through different pain but death really doesn't end it, lmao I'm really sorry for those who think suicide is an escape and attempt to do it, there was a time in afghanistan, I did have thoughts of suicide, but my will to live was more

I can't say my life's been hell in afghanistan, I had one of my cousin she's a year younger than me, and some friends who also came from dubai, I wasn't allowed to visit them -_- but my cousin, I'm glad I had her there, we lived close and it would take less than minute to reach theirs, but we'd not see eachother alot, I'd isolate myself so much, and even if I did visit at theirs my mom wouldn't be so happy with it and yet she wanted me to go outside ._. allow me to rant a bit here like the AudAciTy jsjsjsjs I mean like she'd take me places I disliked the only places I liked was my friends house and my cousins which I'd want to visit once in 3 weeks not more than that,