NEVER LEAVING YOUR HEART ALONE

DOUBT AND SECOND GUESSES

Cristina couldn't believe what she had just heard. This was the last thing she was expecting. She knew Meredith. She was her person. They knew exactly how each other thought. This is not how Meredith thinks. She is a surgeon. A cold, calculated, cut-throat surgeon. Not a mom. Not a nurturing, read a bed-time story, tuck a child in and give it a kiss goodnight mommy. This had to be Derek's doing. She had to get through to her.

Izzie was shocked to say the least. She knew that Derek had been pressuring her to start a family. Meredith was hell-bent on not doing it. She was focused. Sure, Derek could sometimes blur her vision, but she could still see what she wanted. Whatever her reason, Izzie was elated. She loved kids. If this was what Meredith wanted, so couldn't be happier for her.

George was surprised. He never thought Meredith would be a mom. Whenever they had a child patient, she seemed indifferent. George loved kids. He always had. He always knew he would be a dad. But Meredith, she was busy. She liked her life. He couldn't help but think that she would regret it. She was making a mistake, and she didn't even realize it.

"Oh my God! This is wonderful!" Izzie said happily, almost jumping up and down.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say you are adopting that kid?" Cristina snapped in disbelief.

"Yes, Cristina. That is what I said." Meredith retorted as she walked to the refrigerator.

"Why? Have you lost your mind? I thought you wanted to be a surgeon. You can't have a kid dragging you down." Cristina asked loudly as she sat on the stool in a slump. "What the hell have you done to my person?" She asked Derek angrily.

"I didn't do anything." He told her as he looked at the fear on Meredith's face. "This is all Meredith." He explained.

"Well, Mer, if this is what you want." George said. "I am happy for you."

"It's what I want. Well, I think it's what I want. No, it is definitely what I want." She finally decided. She grabbed a knife and began cutting vegetables.

"What are you doing?" Izzie asked as she motioned to Meredith.

"I need to learn to do these things." Meredith said as she began cutting the green pepper into un-symetrical shaped.

"Oh my God it's started. Shit, we may as well slap an apron on you and cover you in spit up!" Cristina whined. "I can not believe you, of all people are going to throw your life away!"

"Maybe you should leave that to me." Izzie said as she grabbed the knife out of Meredith's hand.

"Iz!" She replied. "I need to try this."

"Fine. I hope you guys don't care about presentation!" Izzie said to everyone. They all stayed silent, then Meredith looked up.

"No, no..it's fine!" They all responded quickly.

"I don't mess with Mer when she has knives in her hand." Derek pointed out.

"Why?" Meredith asked. "Are you afraid I'll do this?" She asked as she raised the knife up.

"No! Mer!" He shouted as he ducked.

"I'm kidding Derek." She said as she went back to chopping.

"So why are you adopting Anna?" Izzie asked.

Meredith explained the story to everyone. They all understood. They were happy. Well, everyone except Cristina. She was upset to say the least. Meredith never thought she would react this way.

"Man, that kid is going to be screwed up!" Cristina pointed out.

"Don't say that." Meredith spat. "I turned out fine."