NEVER LEAVING YOUR HEART ALONE

NOT TRUSTWORTHY

Crap. Crap crap. This is bad beyond bad. I knew this would happen. I knew something would have to go wrong. It always does. I think I have done well. I finally start to have a normal, healthy life, and then this. Disappointed. That would be the next thing Ellis would say. Angry. Why didn't you tell me? It was coming. And it was coming quick.

"Derek." Meredith spat as she grabbed his arm and pulled him with her.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he looked at her face. The tears were threatening to spill.

"What's wrong? I hate you. You and your stupid, "Let's be nice. Let's invite every freaking person in the world. It'll be fun. All our friends." Yeah. Bullshit! It's- Damn it." She rambled as she looked at him.

"Calm down..." He said softly. "What is going on?"

"Jake just told my mother that I was married to Ian." Meredith said nastily.

"Oh." Derek responded as he looked at the around.

"Oh no! You can't do that. Be quiet. Play the innocent card. You have to fix this!" She said as she began to storm away. "And for the record, you look completely ridiculous." She spat as she looked at him standing there in his "Grill-master" apron and cooking utensils.

"Mer-" He said as he followed her outside. She threw her hand up and kept walking. She wanted to hide. But it didn't matter. It would come out eventually.

Meredith walked back out and took a seat with Addison, Stan, George and Izzie. They all watched as she plopped down in the chair and crossed her arms over her large abdomen. They all wanted to laugh. She looked like big spoiled brat that wasn't getting her way. They wanted to laugh, but they all knew better.

"What's wrong with the princess?" Cristina joked as she walked up to the table and took a seat.

"We haven't found that out yet." Stan responded as he looked around the table.

"Mer?" Izzie asked with a bit of concern on her face.

"Meredith? Can I speak to you for a moment?" Ellis said as she walked up from behind. Meredith slowly rose from the table and waddled over to the front porch with Ellis.

"What do you think that's about?" George asked as he watched a peeved Meredith walk off.

"Who knows." Izzie said with a shrug. "But she doesn't look happy..."

Meredith was not happy. this was not how she wanted this so-called perfect day to go. This was far from perfect. In fact, it had become hell day. A day for everyone to talk about every mistake she had ever made. It seemed like Ellis was always do that. Either pointing or or finishing for mistakes. God forbid Meredith succeed.

She knew how she was going to approach this. Rough. Straightforward. No nonsense. Blunt. She was tired of her mom's comments. Her little put downs. She wasn't going to do it anymore. She had a little girl, and two more children on the way. She was tired of letting her mom put her down. She was tired of Ellis being disappointed. This time, she would beat her to the punch.

"Yes mom. I was married, okay? I was married for almost ten years. I got drunk in Vegas, and ended up getting married at an all night wedding chapel. That's why I didn't come home. That's why I just disappeared off the face of the earth. That's why i went to Oxford. It was a hail storm of self loathing misery. He and I both slept around. Neither of us were committed. We lived together and that was it. It's over. I know, I screwed up. I messed my whole life up. I'm a big screw up and I will never amount to anything." Meredith spat out quickly before bursting into tears.

Ellis was in shock. Her daughter lived a secret life. She never told her. All those years she was gone and she never told her why. She felt guilty. Part of this was her fault. She wasn't around. She didn't teach her daughter. It was her fault, and Ellis Grey actually felt it.