Fated With Him

10. Down the memory lane.

This chapter is dedicated to senecius  because she's the bitch, she's the boss, she mah bestie, she mah girl. And the best reader one could have. THANK YOU FOR KEEPING TO SUPPORT ME BAY-BEH. ILY 3000. 

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*Amaan's POV* : 

People have lots of different ways of dealing with shit in life. 

People like me, Aayushi, Ayansh and even their little brother Ayaan. But I must say the ways of her brothers ways are quite similar to being close. 

Fleeing away and caring about their own self when Aayushi must have needed them the most. And she's here facing everything head first on this occasion. 

I have met her last night when I went to spend the night at their house, and even though she smiled occasionally and talked to me, her anxiousness behind her brave mask was visible. 

She always did that, pulling out dark humor jokes based on her own misery and trying to laugh it away when from inside she was dying to let it out, but she wouldn't until all her emotions are filled to the brim and they would start spilling out slowly now and then and then just one nudge and she would let out all those out. 

I was trying to nudge them out but even that was failing maybe because she wasn't filled with them to the brim yet. And maybe today she would be. 

I have zero idea of what can go down, it's the first time I am here to witness this day, which I just did years back when her mom died. 

Today is her Mom's death anniversary. 

Even back then when aunty died, I wasn't able to really help her. I was there with her every waking moment, there was nowhere else I would have wanted to be that day. Even her mother was such a humbling presence in my own life that it was hard to imagine she is not anymore. That whenever I would go their house she playfully wouldn't ask me to not lock Aayushi's door or to not sit too close to her on the couch while watching a movie. Whenever she used to say such things , just trying to rile her up, I used to sit more close with Aayushi or throw my arms around her, but aunty would just laugh it away playfully smacking my head. 

To realize that I won't be able to experience those playful smacks on my head was heart breaking. I wasn't able to control my own tears. Because I never thought her mother would commit unalive. Ever. Even though she was broken herself, I always thought she was strong enough to never leave her kids alone. 

But nothing could be really said about depression now. It's the thing that kills you slowly and steadily until you are just left with the body and then you are compelled to end that beating heart too. 

After knowing me for 6 months , Aayushi had finally opened up to me about her parents. Whatever went down between them, before warning me that neither her nor her family would want even an ounce of pity from my side. And after she trusted me enough that I wouldn't pity her over it, since my own family was a mess, she told me everything. Of how her parents divorce took a toll on her mother. The whole story was fucked up. And I thought her father was more. It was basically just a misunderstanding, but in his own pride and ego he was too damaged to accept the woman he loved, and their own kids back. 

We talked for 3 hours straight that day on her couch. 

It was also the first time I had experienced how it feels like to have her arms around me, since that was the first time I had hugged her. 

And I am not at all ashamed to say that, after that day, it's like I had started looking for any moment I can find to have my arms around her. And she let me.