Forever Crimson

Chapter 47

JAKE HELD HER TIGHT when they lowered her mother's casket into the ground. She tried to contain her tears, but they flowed despite her best efforts. She didn't sob, she didn't wail, but she stayed silent as her mother's body was put to rest forever.

The funeral service took an eternity, but she survived it. Her friends all sat beside her, supporting her even in silence. Before they could all leave the cemetery, Scarlet caught sight of Lindsey lurking. She had swallowed her bile as the memory of opening night at the auditorium flashed in front of her eyes. Lindsey held up a piece of paper and set it on a distant tombstone before turning her back on the service, disappearing as if she was never there to begin with.

Scarlet stayed extra time in front of the hole they buried her mother in. The sky darkened overhead as if life agreed with her to mourn on Earth, to mourn for the fact that she would never hear her mother's laugh, her mother's insistent comments that she could cook dinner, her mother's soft footsteps around the house as she found different ways to entertain herself, anything. Scarlet would be unable to sit on the couch with her and vomit all of her issues to her. She had lost her biggest listener.

A life without the person she loved the most.

How to even fathom such a thing.

But she had no choice. That's the funny thing about life. No matter how hard everyone tried to gain full control of it, they could never do it. Would she want to have her mother there with her? Yes. However, life didn't seem to agree. Their paths were aligned, but one stopped at an earlier destination, the other had to keep going.

Every day, Scarlet woke up still going. And going. And going.

Life never stopped for her.

After such a catastrophe, having witnessed her mother's untimely passing like that, one would think their life was over. Everything they'd ever known would crumble before their eyes, blinding them with debris. And while it certainly felt like the world caved in on her, Scarlet continued to trudge on.

Her ankle had broken, but the bones were mending. She'd be limping for a while, and if she tried to put her full weight on it, searing pain traveled up her leg. But she knew that in the future, she'd be able to walk again. Her ankle might have a weird click every once in a while, but she'd go on.

She had no other choice but to keep forward.

When almost everyone left the cemetery, Scarlet turned to find all of her friends and Jake still waiting on her. They stood in silence, respecting her for wanting to stay even more time staring at the stone declaring where her mother lied.

Then she turned away, closing her eyes as she walked away. Her heart pulled back to the hole, but she reprimanded it. Standing there for hours would not change the outcome.

Scarlet didn't even care to say a word as she walked past her friends. They followed her silently, even when she didn't even go in the direction of their cars. Her eyes found the tombstone Lindsey had stood next to, and grasped hold of the envelope she had left for her.

She tore it open right then and there. A single letter was inside, addressed to her.

Scarlet,

I know that what happened will never be forgivable. I don't think I could ever live with myself for how everything fell into place. But I thought of writing to you to fully explain my true involvement with the situation.

I can't lie and say I didn't "plan" with Elliot. I did plan with him. But when he came to me, he sold a story of how he needed someone to help him win your heart, and he wanted me to help because by doing so, I would potentially be gaining Jake's heart. Looking back now, I was beyond stupid. Ever since Jake met you, he's been lovestruck. He could never look at me that way, no matter how much I wished he would. And I guess the same thing happened with you. Unfortunately for Elliot, you could never see him that way.

Truly, I apologize for wanting to meddle into your relationships that way. I understand now that I was being incredibly immature. I'm even more sorry for how Elliot handled the supposed plan.

When I tell you I had no idea he would do such a thing, I really didn't know. The day of your mother's incident, Elliot texted me that he would be going to your house to try and talk things out with you. His exact words were: "I will show her reason." I never would've thought that "showing reason" meant committing such a crime.

I am so sorry.

I'm not writing this to ask for your forgiveness. I know that's something I could never earn. I just wanted you to know that I would have never plotted against your mother's passing. And I hope that despite everything that has happened, that you will be alright.

So take care, and love that guy by your side.

x Lindsey D.

"Who knew Lindsey could be so profound?" Sierra said, reading over her shoulder. Scarlet smacked her with the letter, and then folded it back up.

"Must have been scared after everything went down," Jake said. She rolled her eyes. "I heard she could potentially be facing charges."

"Serves her right," Zilla scoffed.

Scarlet shook her head. "She didn't know of Elliot's true intentions. And her dad is a big lawyer anyway. She'll be fine. But now she has learned. No more getting eaten alive by the vulture."

They walked out of the cemetery to the mostly deserted parking lot. Her friends' families still waited there, hoping their daughters walked out at any second. Scarlet bid them a goodbye, and caught Jake's hand before they walked to his car.

Sitting in silence, Scarlet leaned her head against the cold glass of the window as she watched the cemetery disappear from view.

Jake walked her inside her house when they arrived. He unbuttoned the first few buttons of his dress shirt and threw off his jacket as he made himself comfortable. She threw the mail she fetched from her mailbox, and sighed at all the universities reaching her as her senior year came to an end.

She didn't even bother to change or even go to the bathroom to freshen up. She plopped at the dining table, ripping apart letter after letter that congratulated her on being accepted. Her fingers ached and strained at opening so many. She bled through multiple paper cuts, but couldn't find it in her to care. She let it all sting.

She hadn't realized she started sobbing until Jake wrapped his arms around her, whispering small hushes into her ear to try to calm her down. She burst into more tears, feeling all of her strength leave her body. She slumped forward hard. If it weren't for Jake, she would have knocked her head against the table.

"I applied to all of these with her," Scarlet cried. "All of these with her. I sat next to her as she got chemo. And I applied to all of these. All of these."

He held tighter as she cried. Nothing made sense anymore. The world opened up and went sideways. Whatever knowledge she thought she had was proved false, and now she stood by the precipice.

But Jake was there. And her friends were one call away.

And while everything hurt as if she were sliced in half, there was that sliver of reassurance that she could collapse in safety because she had people to get her back on her feet.