The Winds of the Past [Rune Factory 4]

Chapter 17

The next morning, I arrived at Avani's rooms shortly before 10:00. She was there, waiting for me, pacing nervously. I'd never seen her so uncertain, and I felt both flattered and guilty to be the cause. As I walked in, Clorica appeared in the doorway leading to the rest of the castle, and seeing me there, asked if this was a good time to tidy up the room. Glancing anxiously at me, Avani replied "Well... maybe not the best time. Will you come back later, please?"

Clorica looked sleepily surprised, but only said, "Sure, I can do that. I'll check back after I run some errands and prepare lunch." With that, she left, and we were alone.

Avani sat down on a chair by the fire, and I sat in the chair opposite to her. After a moment, she looked up at me. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and she had dark circles that suggested she had slept poorly, if at all. "Well?" she asked, "May I have your answer?"

"First, I need to ask—you are serious about this, aren't you? You're honestly not just pulling my leg?" I inquired.

She looked straight into my eyes, and replied, "Yes. I'm very serious."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, dreading what had to come next. "Well, then I will respond in like kind." I stood up and walked over to her, picked up her hands in mine, and looked her in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Avani. I can't be your lover."

She looked down into the fire, saying, "Oh... I see. Then... then you don't feel the same as I do, after all."

"No, it isn't that at all," I continued. "How could I help it, after all you've done for me, all you've taught me? You are the one who showed me how to really care deeply for another, the one who taught me what love means."

She looked quickly back at me, confused and slightly flushed, saying, "Then... why?"

I knelt before her, still holding her hands in mine, and tried to explain. "There are two reason it can't work. First, you already have a lover—someone whom I've come to regard as a friend. I can't just ignore his claim to your affection. It would hurt him deeply to lose you. And second, I swore long ago that I'd never marry. So as courtship is merely a forerunner to marriage, it follows that I also cannot enter into a romantic relationship, with you or anyone else." I stood up and released her hands. "So you see, I can't accept. I'm truly sorry, Avani. We can continue as friends—and I very much hope we will—but nothing more. Please, just... give up on me." I felt as though my heart was dying inside me as I watched her, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as she stared with unseeing eyes into the flames.

She sat in silence for a little while, then slowly said, "Hypothetically speaking, if neither of those objections was an issue... then what would your answer be? How do you feel about me, really? Would you gladly accept, or are those only excuses? Would you just find more reasons to turn me down?"

"It's a moot point," I said. "But if—if—Dylas wasn't already your lover, and if I hadn't made that vow so very long ago... then there is nothing I can think of that I would want more than for us to be lovers. But that isn't the case, so as I said, it's irrelevant."

She jumped to her feet, and with a fiery look in her eyes, she said, "Then if you want me even half as much as I want you, why let any of that stop us? Yes, Dylas is my lover. But that doesn't have to change, does it? Where is it written that I can't have two lovers—or even more, for that matter? If you and he can accept such an arrangement, then why should it be an obstacle? And if he can't accept it, I won't try to make him stay—the choice would be his to stay or leave. And as for marriage, I'm asking you to become my lover, not my husband. I don't know what it was like in your time, and for that matter, I'm none too sure about this time, thanks to my amnesia. But I don't feel like I need to marry you in order to be with you. I won't tie you down, if you'll agree to do the same for me."

I looked at her, surprised—perhaps even slightly shocked—by her suggestion. "Are... are you sure you'd be okay with that?" I asked her, hesitantly.

"Yes. I'm certain. Very certain," she replied.

"And what would you do about Dylas? I couldn't possibly agree to see you behind his back," I asked dubiously. "I could never be so underhanded as that. I'd feel badly enough as it is. Besides, clandestine affairs aren't really my style, anyway. If I were to be with somebody, I wouldn't want to hide it—I'd want everyone to know."

"I'll tell him, of course," she answered, looking surprised. "I'd never sneak around like that. The only reason I haven't told him anything so far is that I didn't have anything to tell him. I'm sure he won't be thrilled... and I know he's kind of getting the short end of the stick, since he didn't bargain for this back when I asked him to be my lover. But to be honest... I think he knew how I felt about you even before I realized it myself. So I don't think this will come as a surprise."

I looked at her, feeling my spirits lifting at the sight of her looking so fiercely determined to win my heart despite all obstacles. "Well, well. You certainly are entertaining," I said as I broke into a grin. I mussed her hair, ignoring her protests, and said, "I'm not sure how I feel about sharing someone as adorable as you, but I'm willing to give it a shot..." I pulled her to me and enfolded her in an embrace, whispering "...and thank you," into her hair before releasing her.

Soon afterwards, I returned to my room, leaving her to the task of bringing Dylas up to date. I was rather dreading my next meeting with him—I really did like the taciturn young man, and I enjoyed his companionship. I knew that my weakness for Avani had placed that friendship in jeopardy, yet I hoped somehow it would be salvageable. I remembered the conversation we'd had in my room some time ago, regarding his feelings for her—how he didn't think that they were destined to remain together, and that he'd be glad just for her to be happy. I wondered if he'd still feel the same once those assertions were put to the test. Although the idea of Avani maintaining two lovers didn't thrill me, at the same time, I thought that if it made her and Dylas happy to stay together, I could certainly bear to share her with him. After all, if I wasn't willing to give myself to her wholly and completely, I couldn't very well ask her to do so for me.

************

That evening, Dylas came to my room. He walked in, looking perturbed. "So," he said, "Avani's asked you to be her lover, too, I hear."

"So it would seem," I replied cautiously as I stood, uncertain what his mood was.

"I don't like the idea of sharing her with you—or anyone—but I guess it's better than losing her all together. And I guess it could have been worse... at least she didn't pick Doug."

I gave a half smile at the thought of such a love triangle, then said, "I know, and I am sorry. I did try to resist—but in the end, I found it impossible to refuse her. I'm taking the view that we both have the goal of seeing her happy and of looking out for her. And I hope we can continue to be friends—it makes working together easier, if nothing else."

"Yeah," he said, scowling at me. "I just have one thing to say first...." And with that, he punched me in the gut. I doubled over and sank to the floor, gasping, the breath knocked clean out of me. He looked down at me, his face expressionless, and said, "There. That's all. Now we're cool again." And with that, he turned and left.