Firefly [Levi x Suicidal Reader]

Chapter 2

I walk to my new classroom, and look at the new faces that I will forget soon because making friends isn't what I am interested in. I sit down in a chair in the last row, take out a pencil and started to draw anything that comes in my mind while the teacher tells us where to get a locker and school books.

I don't care.

Just draw.

Do something to avoid the loud pain in my head.

How am I supposed to learn anyways.

Just keep drawing.

'(L/N)?' I heard a loud voice asking for my attention.

'I said, can you read out the next task? Or are you willing to do some extra work on the first day?' The teacher yelled at me with her eyes wide open. The whole class is starring at me and I wish I wouldn't be in this situation. Their eyes stare straight through my head, which makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. As I tried to read out the next part, I can't see the letters because I am too stressed. Sweat runs down my cheek when I open my mouth.

'Ehh... Sorry but can I go to the toilet?'

'You had enough time before the lesson starts. Make it quick.'
She looked down at me with an annoyed glance.

'Thank you.' I said and left the classroom. I run to the girls toilet, checked if someone else was there and put out a razor blade out of my purse.

One, two, three, just one more cut. I need it. I need to calm down. This physical pain helps me to get distracted by my mental pain.

I heard steps and put my razor blade back in my purse.

Fuck, there is no time left to bandage my wounds.

I quickly pulled my sleeve down when the door opens. I run out of the toilet, not mentioning the other girl who enters. I feel the adrenaline run through my body causing me to calm down.

I went back to my chair and sat down while the class keeps doing the task that I'm supposed to read out loud.
Lucky me, that the teacher doesn't care about me being back.

After that the next lesson was art. Even though I really like art as a hobby, the more I hate it in school. I don't like it when someone rates my drawings. It doesn't matter if they like it or not. I just don't want to fish for compliments.

'Welcome my new class!' the teacher begins to say.

'Because this is your first day, we gonna make a funny little partner exercise. As you can see, I brought some wool for you today. I give you a partner and you have to make a bracelet for him/her. After that you tell them why you picked those colors for the bracelet. Have fun!'

My partner was a small girl with blonde hair called Christa. She seems nice and very polite. I make the bracelet for her in three different colors: yellow, purple and white.

'Hey (Y/N), mine is finished!' she said to me with a big smile on her face. Most of the time people fake their kindness to get something they want, but she doesn't seem to be one of those.

I give her my bracelet and put it around her wrist.

'So, I choose yellow, because your smile shines like a sun and is very warm. Then purple because it's the complementary color of yellow and it embodies the mysterious side that I don't know yet. And then there is white for innocence.'

She looked to me with surprised eyes and was really happy with her bracelet.

'Thank you, that sounded very thought-out. I chose a forest green, a light blue and white, because ehh... Because I like the colors'

I smiled because of her cute answer. But my smile suddenly turned into a serious expression as she took my arm and wanted to put the bracelet around my wrist. I was frozen, not knowing what to do right now until she saw the cuts that I did earlier this morning.

'(Y/N), I'm sorry but-'

'Let me alone!' I yelled at her while I was running out of the classroom. Tears run down my face and I was looking for a room that doesn't look like a class room to hide in there.

Fuck! Why on the first day of school?
Now they all will know me as the self harm girl. Not that I care what they will think about me, but I don't want to get bullied and kicked in the dirt again!

I opened the door to a room that seems empty and I thought I was alone so I didn't stop my tears to run down till I noticed that there sat a boy in front of me playing piano.

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Author: Hey I hope you like it so far! Sorry for the slow and boring start but I try my best to keep it interesting! ^^'