Firefly [Levi x Suicidal Reader]

Chapter 4

I was on my way back home. I don't wanna see anyone at the moment, I just want to be by myself. I opened the door and asks if someone is home, but of course nobody was. My parents are still working till late in the night. My feet directly brought me to my room and I layed down on my bed. I was looking at the ceiling, considering if I should go to school tomorrow. I don't want to see all the students with their judgemental looks but I think it is better to bring this shit behind me. My stomach was growling but I just ignore it. I didn't know what to do, I don't have the power to do anything so I just lay there. My eyes closed slowly and I fell asleep.

"Hey, you know that you can tell me everything. I will be here for you when ever you want me to..."

I woke up to the sound of my alarm.

Did I just slept the whole day? Now it is time to go to school again but I haven't decided yet whether I will go or not.

All the different scenarios are running through my head. It hurt so much to hear my thoughts.

I don't want to go to school, I don't want to eat, I don't want to be happy, I don't want to be alive. There is no reason for me to go on. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do? I can't do anything.

I ran to the bathroom an put out my razor blade. I want my head to shut up and painted my arms red with crimson blood. The cuts are way deeper than before, but when I want to go on I have to deal with this pain.

~Time skip~

I was ready to go to my classroom, seeing disgusted students around me, talking behind my back. I walked in and sat down on my chair. Surprisingly nobody cared about my presence. Suddenly a small girl with blonde hair walked towards me. It was Christa.

'(Y/N) I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't tell anyone, but if you want to talk about it, I will be there.' she whispered to me.

It felt like the stone on my chest just disappeared. Christa takes the seat next to me and smiled with a bit concern. I guess this is what a friend would do. I just had one friend in my life, maybe this is a new start.

'Thank you.' I whispered back to her.

After the class ended I walked down the corridor to put some books in my locker. I was watching the students finding their way to their class till my eyes met a boy that walked alone. He was well dressed with a white shirt and a black necktie that matches his hair color. It took me some seconds to realize that it was Levi. I didn't know what to do, shall I talk to him?

'Hey, why you didn't wait for us? We still have to finish our discussion!.' a girl with dark red hair shouted at him with a powerful voice.

'Because of your senseless opinion, moron'. Levi quickly answered with annoyance in his voice. They continued walking past me. I tried to catch Levi's attention, but he didn't looked at me.

I decided to not make it weird and just went to my next lesson.

'Hey, where were you at lunch? I was looking for you but couldn't find you.' Christa said. I didn't want to tell her that I skipped it but have no clue what to say.

'Oh, I wasn't at lunch because I go eat with my parents today and I want to save all my appetite for it.' I lied. Even if this was a terrible bad lie, Christa didn't ask any further questions.

The next lesson was music theory. While the teacher played something on the piano to explain something, I just thought about yesterday. The moment I had with him playing piano was soothing. This was the first time that I felt worth living. I wanted to experience this feeling again.

'Excuse me Sir, can I go to the toilet?' I asked to get out of the room. The teacher nodded and I went outside. Trying to remember where the room was, a new thought came into my mind.

Wait, what if he isn't here? It is the same time as yesterday but that doesn't mean that he is here again.

I stood in front of the music rooms door. 11a was the number of it.
I heard the calm sound of the piano. It must be him. I put my hand on the doorknob when suddenly the weight of my body gets heavier and I collapsed to the ground.

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Hey guys, thank you for the 20 reads so far, I didn't think that anyone would read it ^^. I hope you like it so far. Pls tell me when you have any suggestions for improvement :).