𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐃

𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝: 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞

𝗶𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗱𝗮 Ö𝘇𝗸𝗮𝗻
𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗻, 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱

I listened to Saheed shout and swear at me but it was going in one ear and leaving straight out the other. However, he was unaware that my brothers were standing right behind me listening to everything being said. He still wanted me to tell him who killed Kalim but I couldn't do that, I would never snitch on my family.

"We're running out of time and if you don't start talking then it's going to be a bit sad for you" his voice deepened and I wiped the stray tear that trickled down my cheek

He hung up and I threw my phone at the wall and watched as it shattered into pieces. I turned on my heels and made my way to the door but was pushed out of the way by Hassan, rushing to lock the door. I already knew he wasn't going to let me out so I sat on the sofa and folded my legs up into my chest.

"Are you stupid or dumb?" Hassan pulled out a chair and sat infront of me

I stayed silent waiting to hear what he had to say next. My other brothers, Adem and Amir both sat on the staircase facing us.

"Were you gonna do it?" Hassan asked and I shook my head.

"Nah I don't have it in me to set someone up" I nervously fiddled with my fingers

"Liar!" He shouted

"What? How am I a liar? I told you I wasn't going to do it" I felt my lip quiver and I quickly chewed on it

"You was going to do it either way just so you could get him off your back! You were going to set me up, weren't you?" His whole demeanour suddenly changed and he was like a raging bull

"She just said that she wasn't going to do it, stop shouting at her" Amir butted in

"Admit it! You were going to snitch on me and have me set up just so this boy could leave you alone!" He pointed his finger in my face and got closer

"I swear on Ibrahim's life, I wasn't going to do anything!" I said as we intensely stared at each other

"How long have you guys been talking about this? Where did you even get his number from?" He paced up and down the room

"And what's this I'm hearing about you going mad and having to take all these different tablets?" I gasped and he looked at me with a sickly look on his face

"Is that true?" Amir asked and I quickly shook my head

"Liar! He's the reason why you've been so stressed and it's driving you mad! I can see it in your face," Hassan kissed his teeth and slammed his fist into the wall

"It's not that deep, Hassan. Relax." Adem stepped in, pushing Hassan out of the room

"Pass me your bag" Amir held out his hand and I shook my head

He reached his hand out further and I slapped it away. He snatched my bag and began rummaging through it. Amir sighed and pulled out a bunch of tablet containers and sat them on the table.

"Celexa, paroxetine and a whole bunch of antidepressants." he continued scouring and stared at me intensely "XANAX?!"

I hid my head in my hoodie and pulled on the strings so that my face was covered. I was hoping that he wouldn't have found those but unfortunately, he did and all I wanted right now was for the floor to swallow me into a deep black hole.

"Are you trying to kill yourself? How many of these have you taken today?" he loosened the strings on my hoodie

"A few, I can't remember how many" I shrugged "and I took two paracetamol's to get rid of my period cramps"

Amir sighed and went to the kitchen and threw away all of the tablets.

"I think that you should take some time to better yourself. Just you by yourself. Go somewhere far for a while and clear your head until you feel like you're ready to come back as a changed person. Ilayda you have a child who depends on you and you need to pull yourself together! I know that it's hard because of everything you have going on but you can't let that defeat you! Taking all these drugs and smoking weed all the time isn't going to help you at all. I'll pay for everything."

"I'm not leaving Ibrahim," I shook my head

"We'll look after him," Amir furrowed his eyebrows but I shook my head once again

"I think it's a good idea"

My mum entered the room with her arms folded. She sat next to me and I rested my head on her shoulder. She wiped away a tear that I hadn't even realised had fallen. "It's okay. Let it all out"

"Mum I can't do this anymore! I'm so tired of everything and I don't think I have it in me to keep on going. I don't know what to do anymore. I've been so busy with uni and everything else that I rarely get time to check up on myself" I burst into tears

Mum rubbed my back and whispered in my ear that everything's going to be okay. But to be honest, it wasn't. Nothing was ever going to be okay.

Maybe I should take the offer and go?

I'm sorry that it's so short😭 my mind is so blank rn

~𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲𝐲🇬🇧