Soulmate//Lucius Malfoy x Reader

|10| Soulmate//Lucius Malfoy x Reader

...
I didn't remember what happened...

As my senses slowly returned, I carefully opened my eyes. My first look was cloudy and slightly blurry, but I realized I wasn't with the Weasleys anymore. As I gained more and more consciousness, I slowly remembered what had happened. My emerging memories did not deceive me, because before me I now saw three familiar faces looking at me with sorrow. But their concern faded a little with the moment they realized I was waking up.

"Y/N! Thank Merlin, you're conscious!" exclaimed Narcissa relieved, yet her voice bore a panicked and anxious tone.

I felt uncomfortable being watched by people who were actually strangers to me. But I also had a feeling of security, knowing that I was safe with them.

I sat up cautiously and looked at the three in silence. My eyes wandered to Lucius, in whose eyes I read concern, but also a hint of disappointment. Draco's gaze resembled that of his father, but he did not hide his feelings as much as Lucius.

Narcissa rushed to me when I was fully upright and sat on the edge of the bed I was sitting on. Caressing, she stroked a strand of hair from my face and gently stroked my cheek with her thumb.

"We were so worried about you!"

Ashamed, I looked at my hands lying on my lap. I slowly became aware of what led me to the Malfoys, what mistake I had made and what horror I must have caused them. I was in deep pain from guilt and grief. My head was seething with rage at myself and what I had done, and tears were coming into my eyes.

"What on earth happened, dear?" Narcissa asked concerned.

I hadn't lost a single word yet, but I didn't feel able to. What was I supposed to tell them? How incomprehensibly stupid I was and plunged myself into my own misfortune just because my unreasonable heart told me that I was asking too much of them if I stayed with them?
Why in Merlin's name must every decision I make be so wrong?
Why did I have to lie here and worry these people unnecessarily? Why can't I just be alone?

I closed my eyes and focused on my headache, which was caused by all this stress in the last few weeks. I forgot my thoughts, forgot the moment and felt what I deserved now - pain.
But the forgetting of my thoughts did not last long. They quickly caught up with me, the latest events had happened only a very short time ago.

All the Weasleys and the Malfoys wanted to give me was their help and support and I was so stupid and trampled on their gifts, I told myself that I don't deserve any of this. I slowly sank deeper and deeper into self-pity and self-loathing. I felt like a car stuck in the deepest mud after heavy rain and no longer moving forward. I could not get rid of these strong doubts, but I was incredibly tired of giving my depression the upper hand.

I wanted to put an end to this, and I wanted to treat them as they deserved. But I knew I wasn't able to do it alone. So I decided to take her help. But I was too exhausted to talk to them, to tell them what had happened.

"I-I c-can't. I need a...a moment for m-myself, I-I have to... -" I stammered, but Lucius interrupted me.

"I think it would be more appropriate to leave you alone for a while. Explain yourself when you are ready and rest for the moment, Miss Y/L/N. Should be something, don't be afraid to say something." Lucius' words were spoken softly and thoughtfully.

He gave Draco and Narcissa a look to ask them to leave the room with him. They nodded in understanding and set out to comply with his request. I nodded to them and smiled thankfully. Then my eyes landed on Lucius, whose gaze kept me in observation. I looked into his cool, gray eyes and felt the fire in my heart burning again, which was once kindled for him.
What a man! I'd love to feel his hands on me now...