Lavender and Vanilla {Itafushi}

Part Four: Mixed Signals

Fushiguro's pov

"Stop it! You cant do this!" I screamed, crying hysterically as Maki and Yuta held me back, both on the verge of tears as well.

I watched in horror as Yuji was led by Gojo towards the dimly room, the only light being from the candles on the walls. The chains hanging from his wrists and neck made metallic clinking noises as he walked, his back turned to us all.

"STOP IT!" I struggled against their grasps more vigorously, hearing both Maki and Yuta try and calm me down. "GOJO PLEASE!"

The white haired sorcerer stopped in his place and sighed, turning to face me. He was handling this calmly, but I could tell he was deeply upset. It was written in his expression, even with the blindfold on, I could tell clearly.

"Megumi.. You knew this was going to happen eventually.."

I could barely breathe, finally breaking free of their grasps as I fell to my hands and knees, sobbing. "I don't want him to die.. You told me you could save him!"

"And I did.. didn't I? He got to live so many more years instead of being executed on the spot.."

"And I got to meet so many amazing people along the way.." Yuji finally spoke up, turning to face us now. He didn't seem phased at all, wearing a smile as he tilted his head a bit. "I even got to meet you, Fushiguro. And I'm so happy that I did."

I choked on my sobs, watching as Yuji slowly made his way towards me, kneeling down and kissing the top of my head. "Live a long life for me, ok?" He whispered, before getting back up.

After that, he returned to his spot, Gojo placing a hand on his back and escorting him further. Yuji looked over his shoulder once more at us, at me, before the doors were closed, creating a barrier between us.

I got up to my feet and ran towards the large wooden doors, banging on them desperately.

It was the last time I'd ever get to hear his voice, see his face, his contagious smile, his stupid smile..

No, please..

Come back, speak to me again, I need to hear your voice, I can't live without you, Yuji..

Oh god, I can't do this..

I can't do this...

I can't do this..!

I sat up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath and crying as I looked around my darkened room, no light shone in from the window.
I was.. still in bed.. Was that another nightmare? Or did.. Or did I pass out from the crying at his execution? Was Yuji alive?!

One of the first things I noticed was my divine dog nudging at my hand, whimpering softly. He sensed my panic, trying to comfort me in any way possible. But I was still far too shaken up, eyes fixated on the floor as I sat on the edge of my bed.

A sudden wave of nausea hit me, as I clasped a hand over my mouth to stop myself from gagging. I felt so sick to my stomach now.. So lightheaded..

I begrudgingly got out of bed, knees buckling as I almost fell, but caught myself before that could happen.

My breathing was heavy, my mind was a blur, my body was trembling, my fingertips felt numb.

Yuji..

I need to find Yuji..

Yuji's pov

Laying in my bed, I couldn't help but shift my position again for the tenth time in a scale of five minutes. I just couldn't get comfortable, my mind awake with all the paranoia from talking to Fushiguro earlier. So now I laid awake, staring at my ceiling with a long sigh.

Should I go check on him again? He didn't seem to want anything to do with me.. But I knew something was wrong..

"Obviously he doesn't feel comfortable or trust you enough to tell you about it."

Maki's words echoed throughout my head now, anxious thoughts plaguing my mind. 

"I cant sit around wasting my time on hopeless situations like these."

I really should go check on him..

I hopped out of bed, swiftly running to my door, but upon opening it, I was met with Fushiguro standing there, leaning against the wall for support. He looked horrible, bags beneath his tired, puffy eyes, his tear-stained face was pale as could be. He looked like a corpse in all honesty.

Before I could even say anything, he was embracing me, weakly falling down onto his knees with his arms locked around my waist. I listened to his strained sobs, frowning and kneeling down, gently scooping him up into my arms bridal style. He tried to struggle and free himself at first, but once I sat him down in bed with me, he began calming.

I got up to go close my door, before returning to bed and sitting down with him. I opened my arms warmly, inviting him to another comforting hug, but this time, he shook his head, pulling his knees to his chest.

"Fushiguro.." I beckoned quietly, reaching a hand out in attempt to touch his face. When only inches away, he panicked, smacking my hand away and backing away in the bed.

Geez.. It really must've been a bad nightmare.

"What can I do?" I asked calmly, not wanting to freak him out anymore than he already was.

"Leave.."

I could barely hear it, but he uttered out the word underneath his uneven breaths and strained voice.

"L-Leave? What do you mean by-"

"Get out of my life!"

I sat back a bit, startled by him raising his voice.

"Get out of my life, Yuji!" He reiterated, heaving for breath, "Every time I look at you I lose it- Because of you, I can't sleep at night!"

Well.. I guess he did mention that last part to me the other day. Is that what happened? Is that why he's so upset?

"I can't get you out of my head, you're ruining my life!" He gripped fistfuls of his hair, crying as he spoke.

"I know if I get close to you, I'm only going to setting myself up for failure- just torturing myself.."

"You make me sick, Yuji, I'm sorry, but it's the truth, I can't stand being near you anymore. I'm going to ask Gojo to get my room moved somewhere else, because I can't do this anymore!" He pulled harder at his hair, shaking his head.

"F-Fushi-"

"SHUT UP!" He quickly cut me off, getting up out of bed. "Just- just stay away from me, ok?! Get out of my life!" He then backed up towards my bedroom door, blindly reaching behind him for the doorknob. As soon as he found it, he slipped out of my room, leaving me sitting there, speechless.

Was he serious..? Did he really want me out of his life?

I mean, if that's really want he wants..

Who am I to go against his wishes?