Lavender and Vanilla {Itafushi}

Part Seven: Confessions

Fushiguro's POV

I grit my teeth at his words. "And what could you possibly want to talk about?!"

He went silent, and though I avoided any form of eye contact, I could feel the presence of his gaze.

"Well?!" I raised my voice, growing more irritated.

"Could you stop this shit already?!" He finally retorted, matching my tone almost perfectly. He reached out and grabbed my arm, only for me to immediately yank it out of his grasp, glaring daggers at him.

"I get that you don't want me around you, but could you stop treating me so coldly?! You act as if I don't even exist anymore!" He desperately tried to reason with me, but it only fueled my aggravation.

"I already told you, I don't want you in my damn life! Have you forgotten that already?" I scowled.

"How can you expect me to just be okay with being cut out of your life?! After all we've been through?? Did that all mean nothing to you?!"

"Itadori-" I grit my teeth, about ready to just kick him out of my room again.

"Do you expect me to sit idly by while you're clearly suffering?!"

"Why should it matter to you anyway?!"

"Because I fucking care! And I'm not going to be a damn bystander in all of this- knowing damn well you're hurting yourself!"

I widened my eyes, pausing as he said that. So.. he knew. One of the others must have told him then. Not like it made any difference to me.

"Tch.. My mental health is none of your concern.."

His frustrated expression slowly softened to one of sorrow. "But we used to be friends! Don't you remember that?!" He made gestures with his hands for exaggeration.

With that, I finally snapped.

"We were never friends, Yuji! I've always fucking hated you!"

Part of me really wanted to take that back.

Before he could reply, the words seemed to finally sink in, his eyes starting to become glossy.

How long had it even been since the reform school incident? A year? It had been such a long time.. and I still hadn't recovered from it. It was his fault.

But was it really?

"Oh," he seemed to choke out, smiling at me through tear filled eyes, "I see."

I bit my lip, watching him practically crumble before me. Why did I feel guilty? I had no reason to feel guilt for any of this! He did this to himself and-

"Well, if that's the case.." he rubbed his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt, "I guess I have no reason to hide my feelings from you anymore."

"The hell's that supposed to mean?" I spat back, still trying to stay mad. But it was difficult.. Seeing him so upset..

"I love you, Megumi."

My heart skipped a beat.

He rubbed his eyes more, trying to wipe away the tears currently rolling down his face. "I've loved you since the day we met, really. It was always more than just admiration.."

"Shut up.." I looked aside, shaking my head.

He let out a broken laugh, shrugging in response. "Yeah, I guess that's a stupid thing to say, huh? It's not like it's even worth loving me anyway. I mean, I'm gonna be executed soon.. So who the hell would set themselves up for heartbreak like that?"

"Shut up, Yuji-" I repeated, now watching his forced smile falter, as he broke down into tears.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, lowering his head. "I'm sorry for everything.. I'm sorry for worrying you, hurting you, I'm sorry you ever had to meet me in the first place."

I could feel tears of my own begin to form, now clenching my fists.

In all this time, I tried my best to hide it, I did everything I could to dismiss the feelings I had, pushing them aside so I wouldn't have to deal with it. But now, with Yuji admitting to all of this- it caused my own disregarded feelings to resurface once again.

I knew it was no use to try and ignore it any longer. Four whole months had passed since I told Yuji to stay out of my life, and in those four months, I thought I was healing, I truly thought I was getting better.. But I think I was only hurting myself more by ignoring him.

He continued rubbing his eyes, letting out quiet sobs while he started to get up from my bed. "I'm sorry.. I'm so-"

You know what?

Fuck it.

I don't care anymore.

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and tugged him closer, smashing our lips together. I knew I was gonna hate myself for doing this.. but I didn't care. I wanted this. I needed this. More importantly, I think we both needed this.

He was obviously caught off guard, and of course I don't blame him.. But after a few moments, he melted into it, closing his eyes as stray tears ran down his cheeks.

I finally pulled away, letting Yuji sit back down in bed with me. He looked at me with a stunned expression, blinking a couple times.

"Wh-Why did you..." he mumbled, unable to finish his sentence.

"Because I love you too, dumbass... I don't want to, but I do."

Yuji's POV

Holy shit.. did Fushiguro really just.. Oh my god..

I was downright speechless, sitting there with a dumbfounded look stuck to my tear stained face.

"You.. love me..?" I sniffled, even more tears swelling up in my eyes.

"Something like that, yeah.."

I had no idea what to say, I was still trying to process what had just happened.. One moment we were fighting.. and the next..

Four months..

It felt like an eternity to me.

"Can I.. Kiss you again..?" I sheepishly asked. I couldn't help myself.. His lips were even sweeter than I imagined them being..

He paused before finally shaking his head. "No.. Not now at least.. I don't want to get too attached again.. I'm afraid to."

I frowned, rubbing the side of his upper arm in a comforting manner. "I understand.."

"And don't go thinking that this makes us a couple, Yuji.. I merely kissed you to shut you up.."

"O-Oh, yeah- I-I knew that.." I stammered, cheeks still wet from tears. Megumi sighed and finally reached his hands up to brush away my remaining tears. His hands.. they were so soft.. So gentle.. I found myself placing a hand over his, holding it against my cheek for a moment as I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch.

Megumi..

God.. I just wanted to lay here with him, hold him in my arms.. I wanted to make up for the four months we'd lost..

"Hey, can I stay-" I began to ask, only to be cut off before even finishing my sentence.

"No. Stop pushing it.."

Yeah.. He's right.. I should probably leave. It's already been a very eventful night..

I got up from his bed, smiling tenderly as I stood in the doorway, though he avoided eye contact, staring down at the bed he sat on.

"Thank you.. Fushiguro.."

"Whatever.."