Lavender and Vanilla {Itafushi}

Part Eight: Good Morning

⚠️Trigger warning: mention of suicide⚠️

Itadori's POV

I woke up the next morning to something unusual. The presence of someone in bed with me.

Of course I knew immediately who. I could feel Megumi's warm body pressed against mine, as he laid with his head on my chest, most likely listening to my heartbeat.

I guess he must've came into my room last night after I left his.. Probably another nightmare scared him.

Nevertheless, I was frozen in place, afraid to make any sudden movement at all.

He looked so peaceful while sleeping though, lips parted slightly while he breathed steadily. But at the same time, he looked so exhausted. The dark bags underneath his eyes were clearly visible now that I saw his face up close.

I couldn't bring myself to move my body, in fear of waking him. Who knows how long it's been since he's slept this soundly? He looked like he was finally getting some well deserved rest, and I wasn't going to take that from him.

Instead, I began running my fingers through his disheveled raven hair, and he let out a quiet hum of satisfaction, seeming to like that. I smiled, watching his resting expression.

"You're adorable, Megumi.." I cooed with a sigh, not caring if he couldn't hear me.

He murmured back unintelligible nonsense in response and I chuckled softly, now beginning to rub his back in a soothing manner.

The black haired male groaned softly and shifted his position slightly, pressing himself a little closer to me. With that, he slowly woke up, his gorgeous eyelashes fluttering open, revealing midnight blue eyes.

He stared off drowsily for a moment before looking up at me, eyes half lidded.

"Good morning." I smiled warmly, brushing a strand of messy raven hair out from in front of his eyes.

"...Mornin'.." he murmured back, closing his eyes again.

"So.. About last night.."

"I.. Got scared.." he finally spoke up after a moment. "I just didn't want to sleep alone.."

"That's ok..! I don't like sleeping alone either." I kissed the top of his head, only for him to sit up, breaking away from me.

"Stop it.." He wrapped his arms around himself. I sat up as well.

"Sorry.."

God, this was awkward as hell.. What now?

We both sat in silence, until there was a knock at the door, followed by Nobara's voice. "Itadori- Breakfast is ready."

"Ok! Be right out!" I called back, before looking back over at Fushiguro again with a smile. "Ready to go get some food?"

He shrugged, looking aside. "I guess."

I grabbed his hand gingerly and held it, now getting up from my bed. "Let's go then!"

He quickly yanked his hand from my grasp, getting out of bed and walking out of my room without a word. I sighed and followed behind him.

After that, everything seemed to go back to normal. Normal as in; Fushiguro acting like I no longer existed.

Following breakfast, I made my way back to my room, seeing as we had the day off. We had mission coming up in a couple days after all, so Gojo wanted us to get a little bit of rest for that.

Fushiguro continued to ignore me for the rest of the day, and it left me confused, so puzzled on what he wanted. Did he want to be around me or not? It seemed like he was rather indecisive.. That kiss last night.. Did it even mean anything?

So I decided to just let it be. If he wanted anything to do with me, he'd come to me first.. There was no reason for me to bother him.

He wanted me out of his life anyway..

A week went by, and there was two days until our mission. No word from Megumi, in fact, I hadn't seen him around at all..

I was wearing the pink hoodie Fushiguro had given to me all those months ago, though it didn't smell like him anymore. Currently laying in bed while reading manga, I heard a knock at the door. I paused and set the book aside. Was it him..?

"Come in-" I replied, to which the door opened and Gojo stepped in.

I sat up, "Oh! Gojo sensei!"

"Heya, Yuji. I see you and Megumi made finally made up the other day?" He closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets.

"Not really.. He's just.. Been really weird lately."

"Yeah, sorry about that." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Gojo.. Can you please tell me what's going on? I'm worried about him.."

He remained silent for a moment, before speaking up, "He.. He's not doing all that great, to tell you the truth. I'm sorry for hiding it from you, but I knew you would try and get involved if I told you, and that's not what he needs.. Especially right now.."

"What are you saying..?" I furrowed my brows, frowning.

He let out a heavy sigh, sitting down on the edge of my bed and lowering his gaze. "Yuji.."

I began getting scared. Did something happen?

"Megumi attempted suicide the other day."

The color drained from my face at his words, hands beginning to tremble. "H-He didn't.. there's no way-"

Gojo placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me. "He's fine, Yuji.. Don't worry.. He's just been with Shoko recovering.."

Tears flooded my eyes, as I brought a hand to cover my mouth, muffling any noise. "This- This is my fault-" I choked out.

"What do you mean..?"

"Fushiguro told me to stay away from him- and I didn't listen, I was fucking selfish.. And it almost cost him his life!"

Gojo sighed, wrapping an arm around me and pulling my body close to his side. "Yuji, it's ok.. Don't be so hard on yourself.."

"I need to do better- I need to make sure I stay away from him now.. I wouldn't be able to handle the weight of his death.." My voice shook as I spoke.

This really was my fault.