Lavender and Vanilla {Itafushi}

Part Fifteen: Two Steps Back

Fushiguro's pov

I don't think I've ever felt loved.

Correction, I don't think I've ever felt loved in the same way Yuji Itadori made me felt loved.

Despite it being something I had to grow more accustomed to, I did enjoy it.

This love was the first thing to fully distract me from the incident.

For a time, I didn't even care to think about the scars that marred my arms and legs.

I was content.

How I desperately wished it would've stayed that way.

It was when word arrived that another one of Sukuna's fingers was located, that I suddenly remembered everything. Everything I had pushed to the back of my mind. I remembered why I was afraid of loving Yuji in the first place.

Hearing Yuji discuss with Gojo what the future held for him and his inevitable execution.. Hearing him speak of it so casually.. It made me nauseous.

The simple event ultimately triggered a downward spiral, and all the progress I had been able to make seemed to gradually vanish day after day.

With the feeling of Yuji's fingers softly threading through my hair, I was caught in a state between consciousness and sleep.

"You're awfully quiet today. Yesterday too." He spoke against the top of my head, his voice a little muffled in my hair.

"Not much to say."

It had been a couple months since we started dating. It honestly felt like longer.. though maybe that was because we already practically lived together, in the same building at least.

"Something on your mind?"

There is too much on my mind.

"I'm tired."

But that's only partially true. Why did I say that? Maybe the medicine's not helping anymore? I haven't felt this low in a while. I've was doing well, for a while at least. I was doing really well..

My demon dog, Kuro, lies at the end of the bed, letting out a low whine.

"Yeah, I don't believe him either, boy." He remarks in a lighthearted, playful manner.

I exhale through my nose in response, my head resting against Yuji's chest. "Kuro, whose side are you on here anyway?" I murmured.

"The side that doesn't lie and hide their feelings, of course."

"I'm fine, Yuji."

"Are you sure? You hardly let me cuddle you at night, you aren't finishing your meals, and you keep making excuses when I suggest we go somewhere together.."

I cringed internally, having not realized Yuji was picking up on these behaviors. Hell, I didn't even realize I was doing these half of these things until he mentioned it..

"..Sorry," I didn't know what to say, and that's all that I managed to get out in the end.

Yuji stopped petting my hair, moving his hands to grab and lift my face from his chest, forcing my eye contact. It wasn't a stern gesture, but rather a lighthearted one, as he squished my face a little, clearly mocking me with a pouty expression.

"I'm not stupid," he huffs, pinching my cheeks, "Well, maybe I am, but, definitely not with this sort of thing!" he corrected, narrowing his eyes at me.

Normally, I probably would've laughed at a stupid comment like that from him, but right now, I couldn't even bring myself to crack a smile.

Yuji's entire demeanor softened almost instantly. He cupped my face tenderly, leaning in a bit closer,