fuck buddies don't act like this (Gojo x Reader)

Chapter 49

Comfortable was an understatement when it came down to living in Gojo's home and nothing seems normal when the sense of dread consumes you daily when he hasn't been home for weeks. There's been few and far between messages shared between the two of you over the passing months as he's been dipping in and out of his own home. That anxiety drags up like any weeping puppy waiting for pity to be drowned upon them.

He's busy, he says.

Work, he says.

But the more that you really think about it the more that you really begin to see the bigger picture, that being there is no picture being drawn. You know next to nothing about Gojo Satoru other than the fact that he's a twenty-eight-year-old teacher working God knows where and has a sweet tooth worse than most kids. He dresses like he's always about to walk for a world class runway show and flaunts his money just because he can at the strangest of times.

And yet you know nothing substantial about him.

His past is as grainy and blurry as waking up from a dream that happened years ago and trying desperately to recall what Susan said to you last Monday. Nothing other than that one passing comment you remember him splicing at the arcades about being on the streets a lot as a kid but that's nothing. Nothing but white on rice, a single grain for that matter.

There are infinite things you want to know about him, learn about his family and why there's no family pictures here. It was hard to believe it when you scoured the entire house for a slither of anything personal regarding his past, yet you came up shorter than a twig. His house is all things that you know about him currently or something that he used to be, a void of barren emotions far from the mushy gut-wrenching vomit you're used to now. His house lacks the personality and warmth of someone that had anything remotely kind and loving growing up.

It makes you wonder if he had any of that back then, a mother to show him right from wrong, the unconditional love that all parents should give their children. But with this all-consuming anxiety tearing away at your walls that were once ironclad and built to withstand the harshest of comments now begins to crack and crumble. Gojo is no better than a stranger talking, eating, drinking and fucking someone he may as well find on the street.

You sigh knowing that you're no better than he is being as secretive as you are about your family and past. You haven't even told your parents about him, and it's been barely six months since you met and now you could say that you're dating. Woah, calm down there, you've still got one foot in and off the ledge with saying such a risky statement. You know he likes you that's for sure, enough to fuck after spending so much time with you since well... since then.

He likes you a lot to let you in his home, stay and live here like it's your own and thankfully Morgan has been keeping your shitty apartment from going all mouldy since you've been gone. The only people that know is Morgan and maybe Sarah if you even recall mentioning anything to her about your current dating life. Those weeks you spent being with her are no better being left as foggy memories because sadly enough that's what they are, foggy and unclear. You can barely even remember what you did during those weeks let alone the conversations you were having with people or if you were entirely having them, Usui devoured all motor control from you replacing it only with himself.

You shouldn't blame yourself but knowing now how much of a narcissistic bastard that he is for trying to manipulate you into his own sex slave makes you want to vomit your ramen noodles back up. It's disgusting to think that you fell or maybe even tried to cloud whatever spark was beginning with Gojo by smothering yourself with Usui but that just damaged you even more. He ruined you in those weeks and with him now gone, permanently thrown out of your life you can begin to... breathe. Long, deep breaths of pure bliss, nothing filtered for your joy and comfort, it's the fucking real deal and you couldn't be any happier.