fuck buddies don't act like this (Gojo x Reader)

Chapter 54

The end is coming, and with the world going up in flames only then shall life spring from the ashes and ignite with the tenacity to pursue greatness. Or so you thought, ever since Christmas struck the city as fast and as fierce as a white tidal wave. Blanketing the tragedies in nothing but wasteful mounds of snow that only temporarily acted as a saving grace for the people of Japan, to think feigning ignorance was better than facing the truth.

Cold, hard and bloodthirsty, the truth ripped everyone's bleeding pumping organ out from their rib cages and crushed it before their very eyes as everyone's tears ran red with poison. So much destruction, so much taken and so much left to live for that this life feels quenched of what it had to give and only the sludge left. Gifts that should be full of love and warmth are nothing but darkness, ill-will and pain.

Monsters lurk all around you, they wear masks and snicker in waiting, biding their time in the shadows with razor sharp claws and predatory thirst. Friends, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and those that walk the earth with no interest in you or them. Their faces scarred and ripped beyond recognition; lying in fear upon who's next, who's the next person that will come into your life and rip you in two just like the last.

Gojo.

Usui.

Hitoshi.

Laughing in your tears streaming down your cheeks in wake-less troubles and dreamless lands where your fingertips reach nothing but open air. This year has granted you nothing but suffering in torturous desires that would bring the church to shame and forlorn wills that shatters your glass heart. Dust piles in great heaps pouring into a funnel as his fading shallow whispers break away into nought.

That's what they were meaningless words with no more value than what you give them to be, what you thought they to be, than the made up words and letters to convey their hearts. Deceitful and cruel yet bright and true that they burned the lips that spoke them and walked into deaf doors that heard them.

But its all you can think of, the meaning that filled your heart too much that with one fallen step you'd drown in your desires, both his and the dirt leaden monsters. What could you do but listen to the forbidden enchantment and hope that what he says is true and crystal clear that won't just crumble away when the sun crawls out.

Hope, you'd rather be gone from it than had it fester beneath your breast and hope that he'd return the feelings you so willingly and vulnerably gave to him. The love that he squandered, dripped between his fingers as if he dipped his hands in bucket loads of paint only to wash them off as if nothing ever happened.

Slicked in red like the blood of your soul run ragged and drawn upon too many times that the spell of his words began to mean nothing in your numbing body. Soon enough you realised your greatest mistake and faults all began to fade away into the wind by the passing days. The longer both Gojo's and Usui's existence were drowned out by the coming of tomorrow.

Bright and beautiful as her shining smile.

And you think to yourself, 'are you really worthy of that smile.' That beautiful smile encapsulated by her shocking pink hair and gracious angelic features or the way she cares for you and your worth. Nothing like them and their boyish tactless ways in trying to heal the broken heart that they created. The shards they told you were dull and just for decoration slid and stabbed you in the back just like them.

Worrying that the pattern would follow you and repeat itself within her, you look away finding sanctuary once again in your thoughts. The New Years party fades away with the ingrowing countdown getting closer and closer to the new year and the hypothetical new you.