sweater paws || soobin

[29] - not a burden

I jolted awake, looking to my side where Y/N sat and then at the television where the credits of the movie were playing. I sat up, tousling some of my hair.

"Shit, did I fall asleep?" I asked her sheepishly.

Y/N crossed her arms and pouted. "Yes, you did. It was my favourite movie too." She turned her head away from me like a child might and I nearly cooed at her adorable antics.

I wrapped my arms around her from the back and rested my chin on her shoulder. "I'm sorry," I said softly.

"Hmph," Y/N scoffed, still pouting.

"How can I make it up to you?" I asked and she turned back around.

"Hmm..." I could tell she was pretending to think about it. "Give me a kiss."

I chuckled, telling her, "As you wish," before capturing her lips with mine.

We had been dating for about four months now. When we came home that Christmas evening, hand in hand, my parents already knew what the outcome of my confession was. We told our friends about it when we came back to school in the new year. Sure, we could've texted them over the break, but it seemed like something to be said in person.

They all teased us to no end about it—both my friends and my parents—but we didn't care. As cheesy as it sounded, we were just happy to finally be with one another.

Our relationship contained mostly ups. We had downs sometimes, a small argument here and there, but luckily, they never lasted long. We always came back to each other.

"Soobin," she said to me and I could tell her tone had changed to serious. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

I fully faced her, listening attentively. "Sure, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," she assured. "I just..."

"You just...?"

"I want to see my dad."

I didn't say anything for a minute or two. She wanted to see her dad? The guy who hated her guts and screamed at her and beat her to no end? The guy she escaped from? Needless to say, I was confused.

"Why?" I asked, still keeping my tone gentle since it wasn't her I was angry at, but the thought of her half-conceiver.

"Look, I know you hate him," she said. "But I don't. He's still my dad. He still put a roof over my head for eighteen years. And one day I just disappeared with all my stuff with a boy he'd never seen before without even saying goodbye."

I scoffed. "Goodbye? Goodbye? Y/N, that man abused you. You're lucky you made it out of there before..."

Y/N's anxious gaze turned into somewhat of a glare. "Before what? Before he killed me, is that what you were going to say?"

I swallowed hard, realizing arguing with her wasn't helping anything. She really wanted to do this and when Y/N wanted something, she wouldn't let it go that easily, if at all.

I sighed, moderating my tone. "I'm sorry. I just...I can't see you hurt, Y/N."

She placed her hand on top of mine gently and looked into my eyes. "I won't get hurt, Soobin. I just really need to do this."

I eventually gave in. "Okay. But I'm coming with you."

"Are you sure? You took quite a few punches the last time you saw him."

"And I'll take a million more if it means you'll be okay."

The following day, Y/N and I made the short trip to her dad's house. I was nervous as hell, so much that I was trembling as I held her hand, but I assured myself that I would protect Y/N no matter what if things went south. This was no time for anxiety.

Y/N squeezed my hand. "It'll be fine."

"I hope you're right."

We then came to the door and Y/N knocked on it three times in succession, taking a step back as it opened.

Her father's mouth drew downwards into a hard, piercing stare. "What the fuck do you want?" I nearly winced, recalling the same words he'd used the first time we'd met.

"Hi, Dad," Y/N said, ignoring his harsh 'greeting.' "Can I come in?"

"Like fucking hell, bitch," he spat, causing my anger to boil, but Y/N squeezed my hand again and I knew it was her silent way of saying not to do anything right now. "You have some nerve fucking coming back here when you left without even saying a fucking word off with this random asshole." He looked right at me when he said that, but my equally hard glare didn't waver.

"I know," Y/N admitted and I was surprised she was keeping such an even tone. "I'm sorry. I came to apologize and to set things right."

He scoffed menacingly. "You can't set anything fucking right when your entire existence is wrong."

I could feel her flinch and I squeezed her hand back to reassure her.

"I'm sorry, Dad," she repeated, acting deaf to his brutal words. "I'm sorry for everything. I just wanted to tell you I'm really happy now where I am and I wanted to thank you for the eighteen years you took care of me, but I don't need you anymore, so don't worry. Your burden is gone."

I wanted to cry at what she was saying. I thought she'd thought better of herself by now, but here she was, describing herself as unwanted and a burden to her own father, who always treated her as such. I wanted to punch the guy in his fucking face.

"Good riddance," he said and my anger only grew. "Is that all? Will you get the fuck out of here now?"

Y/N nodded. "Yeah. That's all."

"Good. And don't ever fucking come back."

"Don't worry. I won't."

He then slammed the door in our faces and we started walking back home. Y/N was quiet the whole walk and she was pretending like she was fine, but I knew she wasn't. I wasn't going to let her be upset and just believe her when she acted like everything was okay. Not again.

Just before we reached the porch, I stopped her. "Hey, look at me."

She didn't meet my eyes and kept her head down.

"Look at me, Y/N."

She slowly lifted her head, staring into my eyes with her glossy ones.

I smiled softly at her. "Y/N. You are sweet and amazing and you deserve everything. That man was a mistake in your life, but now he's gone and you're here now. You're here with Mom and Dad and me. And we love you. I love you. You are not a burden, okay? You are loved and wanted."

She then threw herself into my arms and cried, letting out what she'd been holding in the whole time. I rubbed her back calmingly, allowing her to let it all out before we went back inside—back home.

Where we belonged.

Where she belonged.