Hidden Memories - A Steve Rogers Lovestory

Partytime

"Well ladies, ready to have a blast?" asks Damon while waving a full bottle of whiskey in front of him. Stefan strolls over to Caroline, hugs her and gives her a kiss in greeting. To suppress the stinging feeling that spreads inside me at the sight, I take the bottle from Damon, open it and take a long sip. The liquid burns when I swallow it. Together we go into the living room where we sit, drink and chat together. "What brings you to Mystic Falls Amilia?" asks Stefan unsuspectingly. I give Caroline a nervous look. Stefan and I are friends too, but it's different than between me and Caroline or between me and Damon. I don't have the feeling that he would understand why I ran away. "Um ... I just needed a break from my life," I utter stammering. Stefan is just about to say something about it when Caroline gives him a withering look and whispers to him that he should leave it at that. Stefan shrugs his shoulders confused and takes a sip of his drink. Then the mood is a bit depressed. "How about we move the party to a club?" Damon asks, hoping to lighten the mood again. "Good idea" shouts Caroline before emptying her glass in one go. "Yes, that sounds good. Come on Caroline, let's get ready in your room" I grab her hand and pull her behind me. In Caroline's room we take care of our makeup, style our hair and get changed. As almost always, I use her wardrobe. Sometimes I'm sure that Caroline has certain items of clothing in her closet just because of me. Our clothing styles couldn't be more different. I always find things in it that she would never wear. I opt for black fishnet tights, black denim shorts that go just over the butt, a black bra and a black croptop made of mesh fabric over it so that you can see the bra clearly. I put on matt black high heels and look at myself in the mirror. Damn i look good. Caroline looks totally cute in the green backless cocktail dress that emphasizes her body. "Ready?" I ask her and hold out my hand to her. She nods, takes my hand and together we go back to the boys. Together we make our way to the grill, where Damon and I were yesterday. I don't know why, but all hell is going on here tonight. Today the whole bar looks more like a disco. Almost the entire room is filled with people dancing wildly and just having fun. "The first round is on me" I say and go to the bar to order us shots. With four tequilla shots I go back to the others and we tip the shots down. The music today is awesome - a mix of 90s music and hip-hop. The four of us make our way into the middle of the action and also begin to dance. While Damon and I are just having fun, Caroline and Stefan have almost melted into each other. After a few hours, the two of them suddenly disappear - very clear what the two are going to do now. Damon and I continue partying when suddenly this sad feeling overcomes me again. That feeling that something is missing. I don't want that feeling now. I'm here to distract myself, to forget! Suddenly an idea flashes inside me. I'm grinning devilishly at Damon. "How about we make a real party out of this Damon?" Damon grins enthusiastically. He knows exactly what I mean by that. If Damon and I are really partying, it means we're drinking, making out, and drinking blood for sheer pleasure - we're getting into a blood frenzy. Still on the dance floor, we keep looking for people to hypnotize and inconspicuously drink their blood. I don't even know how we got home, but at one point Damon presses me hard against the door of his room while he sinks his teeth into my throat and drinks my blood. That feeling of drinking another vampire's blood is an absolute aphrodisiac. We stumble towards the bathroom while undressing each other. But just as the first drops of cold water touch me, I see Steve's face in front of me. First it's Steve from the 40s before he got the serum. Then it changes and I see him the day he surprised me on my porch after all the time I hadn't seen him. Far too hard I push Damon away from me and he looks at me confused. "I ... I can't do that," I stammer and run past him into my room. There I can no longer pull myself together and I burst into tears. I look down at myself and see blurredly that I am covered in blood in places. Still crying, I drag myself into the shower where I sit on the floor, pull up my knees and just sit there while I can't stop crying. When the tears run dry I turn off the water, dry myself off, blow dry my hair and put on the cosiest sweater and sweatpants I can find before I snuggle up in bed and bury my face in the pillow. For the first time since leaving the Avengers, I turn on my phone. Countless missed calls from Bucky, Steve, Nat, Wanda, Tony, and even Fury await me. Without really being aware of it, I start to check my mailbox messages. "Trouble please answer the phone. Please! I'm worried about you. We're all worried about you. Please get in touch," I hear Bucky's voice, you can tell that he must have been crying. So it goes on. Each one of them asks me to come back. I cry again. But when I heard Steve's message, I could swear that my already dead heart will stop beating. To say that he sounds sad would be an understatement. He sounds broken. "Amilia please ..... I don't know what's going on right now, why you're so scared of remembering me. All my life I've thought I lost the love of my life. As soon as I got off the ice I was trying to find out how your life went. Whether you got all of what you always wanted. I tried to find out if you were still alive - but to no avail. I had resigned myself to the thought that I had risked a life with you to save the world. I have never regretted anything so much in my life. Apparently fate still has plans for us, otherwise our paths would not have crossed again. Please Amilia let me be there for you this time. I ... I love you" then the message is over. I exhale, trembling, not even realizing that I was holding my breath. Next, I do something that I rarely do. If I concentrate 100% on someone I can see and hear them as if I were there in that moment. I see Steve lying in his bed. He looks tired and exhausted. His eyes are red and puffy. "Where are you Amilia" I can hear his thoughts. Although it hurts me, I watch him for a while and hear everything that goes through his head. "Why? All these years I thought I had lost you, that you might already be dead. Then fate brings us back together and you just disappear. Why???" as these thoughts run through his head, thick tears fall from his cheeks. I tear my thoughts away from him and turn to the side, crying again. If I had known what was going to happen, I would never have agreed to be part of the Avengers. It was never my intention to really hurt any of them. Especially not Steve.