Worthy

Part 5 - That's Why

"So," Tony starts, taking a sip of coffee, scowling at the taste. "You're not mad about last night then?"

"Why would I be mad?" You tense slightly before shrugging, not looking at him; just concentrating on your food.

"Well Thor wasn't exactly on fine form last night, and you just walked away. Not like you."

"I guess I'm just taking your advice," You stop eating briefly to drink some coffee too; pulling a similar face to Tony. "I'm dealing with it."

Tony nods, and looks around down at his cup, adding some sugar, hoping it'll improve the taste. Deciding whether or not to push you on this Thor thing. "You know he's not a bad guy really. Little theatrical at times, but still, pretty handy in a fight."

You nod along, still not daring to look at him in the eye. This was a subject you had came to the city to forget about; you decide to concentrate wholly on your meal; not wanting to be pulled into the conversation, while Tony wanted to push you into it.

"Pretty hot too, don't you think." Again you nod, not realising where he's going with this. "I mean the guy is ripped..." Another nod from you, before your brain catches up to what he's just said. You snap your eyes up at him as he laughs; making you choke on the bite you had just taken. Clearing your throat with the disgusting coffee, pushing your plate away, whilst Tony is still laughing. "Knew it," he grins.

"Knew what?"

"You have a thing for him really?"

"Where did you come up with that?" You choke, stopping a waitress to ask for a glass of water. "I don't think you quite grasp how hating someone works Tony?"

"I think its the other way around my friend. All those longing looks..." He sighs as he looks out the window, perching his chin on his hand; dramatically blinking his eyes. You feel an anger start to rise through you; one you had managed to get rid of this morning.

"Quit it Tony," you bite, stopping yourself from shouting as the waitress hands you a glass of water. "I know what you're getting at here - the whole fine line between love and hate routine."

"I was going for more of a 'you hate him, but still want to fuck him' routine, but continue." he interrupts you, picking up a small piece of bacon from your plate and throwing it at you.

"Either way, you're wrong." You raise an eyebrow at him. "I don't know why this is bothering you all of a sudden?"

"I'm just making a suggestion!" He raises his hands in defence.

"So you think the best way to solve my issues with Thor is to just sleep with him?"

"Yeah. You could blow all the tension between you out in one night. Literally." He winks at you and you can't help but laugh; not sarcastically, just a genuine chuckle. "You know, you've never actually told me the truth about what happened between you two?"

"Does it really matter? We just don't get on. It's that simple." Tony sighs, with slight frustration, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "What?" you ask, matching his movements. "Spit it out Stark."

"You know you only call me that when you're mad."

"Picked up on that did you? Took you long enough."

"I'm just looking out for you, you know that right?" he asks. "Kind of a package deal you get with the whole friendship thing." The smirk is back; that damn Tony Stark smile that always got you wrapped around his little finger.

"Fine," you sigh. Leaning forward and wrapping your hands around the glass of water just to stop them fiddling. "I told him about what happened to me when I was a kid." You don't look up at Tony; fixate on the water. "I thought of all the people I'd met he would understand."

Tony nods along. "So what went wrong?" He asks, knowing how difficult it was for you to talk about.

"Nothing, at first." You pause to take a sip of water, before pushing the glass away and leaning back again. "He actually helped me try to make sense of it - more sense than any therapist did. And then he left." You shrug.

"That's it?" he asks, a chuckle of disbelief escaping his mouth. "Kate, his brother was literally tearing his world apart. You can't honestly hate the guy for that."

"I don't hate him for that," you shake your head. "I'm more than aware of what Loki was capable of, remember?" Your mind is drawn back to the battle of New York and what you all faced there. "But when the dust all settled; when he came back, I thought..." You trail off, feeling a mixture of pain and frustration rising in your gut.

"That there was still something between you? Maybe something more?" Tony asks, concern etched on his face.

"I thought that our friendship would still mean enough to him, but it didn't. He changed. He laughed in my face and threw it all back at me, like it was nothing. Like I meant nothing."

The anger rises in you as you remember that conversation with Thor, and the last words he said to you that completely shattered whatever the relationship between you had been. "The troubles of a simple Midgardian are not the worries of a true god." That's what he had said; breaking you. You look over at Tony and realise now you're angry with him too; for making you have this conversation.

"That's why I have to hate him Tony," you spit out. "Because he was right last night. I wasn't worthy enough to be his friend - not then, not now and not ever." You throw the car keys at him and get up from the table, grabbing your jacket and bag as you go. "Thanks for breakfast."