*SATIRE* i got adopted by one direction

uh what?

harry picked up my now 2'4 body bridal style. i had actually grown an inch after i ate pancakes.

weird. like... magic?

a voice snapped me out of my thoughts. not any voice. louis' voice.

"ya alright there y/n? ishsisksuskjwwhwubs house tour skslwohdkwjs boyo keiwlah avocados on toast ya nah wha i mean?"

what.

is he speaking english??

"h-h-h-h-huh?"

"whadu mean huh? i was being very clear!"

i jumped down from harry's arms and defended myself.

"i'm sorry. i can't understand you. we speak english here. eng. lish."

omg omg omg omg OMG I DIDN'T STUTTER!!! I HAVE TO TELL MY VERY STRAIGHT BBFL TIYANASAUR!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'D BE SO PROUD OF ME!!

...oh sugar honey iced tea.

i haven't called them yet.

i quickly dismissed that thought and got back to the conversation. everyone was shocked.

"'scuse meh?"

"o-o-o-o-oh i-i-i-i'm sorry-y-y" i said and ran up to the roof crying. hot salty tears ran down my rosy red cheeks as i stood on the rooftop. i knew i was right to defend myself.

so i sang my pains away.

"THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG
TAKE BACK MY LIFE SONG
PROVE I'M ALRIGHT SOOOOOOONG"

i heard the door leading to the roof open followed by four british footsteps and an irish pair of footsteps .

"MY POWERS TURNED ON
STARTING RIGHT NOW I'LL BE STRONG
I'LL PLAY MY FIGHT SOOOOOOOOONG"

i stopped when i heard talking behind me.

"wow y/n is really good. they should join the band."

my eyes widened.

what?

actual a/n: this is so short wtf. i'm so out of ideas 😭😭 and i just HAD TO add the iconic y/n rooftop fight song scene - you're welcome.